rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)
Sara and I dropped Tovah off at Mom's house last night. When we packed up her dishes, litter box, and cat tree, she got so scared that she hid under Sara's bed and spent the whole drive meowing like she was begging for her life. Maybe she thought she was going back to the pound. But once she saw that she was just going to another house where she's still the only cat, she seemed okay. Sara has put up more of a fuss than Tovah did. "My poor BABY! I miss her so MUCH!" When we dropped her off, Adam and I quoted the exchange from that episode of Star Trek where Data has to leave Spot with Warf. Hahaha!

Our trip up here was uneventful, just looong. And the stretch from northern Louisiana into southern Arkansas almost did me in. About forty miles of highway that had signs every five feet reading Speed Limit 55, Speed limit enforced by radar, and Speed Zone Ahead. Ugh! We drove from here to Little Rock, but we only had to map the route between Natchitoches and Little Rock, because we still remember the way to Natchitoches that well. It felt so good to get out of the truck after we finally found Athena and Josh's place. Athena was standing in her front lawn waving -- haha, I love her! We had dinner at the Red Lobster here (Sara insisted, of course) and watched Taken 2.

Some lol's of our trip so far...
Sara: "Look, look!" Both of us, in unison: "It's black silhouetted cowboy leaning against fencepost!"
Me: "We need a trash bag." Sara: "There's no room for a trash bag! There's barely enough room for us!"
Sara: "Wait a minute. Is this... One Direction?" Me: [singing along with You Don't Know You're Beautiful] "Yes!" (Sara refused to listen to any "Jew songs" or Les Miserables, but I did have to listen to "Merry Go 'Round" and "Begin Again" three times each! Hmph.)
Me: [ranking the best Jean Valjeans] "It goes like this. Alfie Boe, Hugh Jackman, and then, if there's any room left at the bottom, Colm Wilkinson." Athena: [gasp] "Blasphemy!"
Sara: "What sort of gun is it? I mean, what does it shoot?" Athena: "It shoots bullets, Sara." Sara: "Well, I thought maybe it shot beanbags or something." Rebecca: [dies laughing]

P.S. It's so cold up here! You know you're from the south when Arkansas is too cold for you!
rebecca_in_blue: (happy smile)
All hail Rebecca, who survived another back-to-school season and didn't get trampled to death! Yesterday, I went with Sara and some friends of hers to the movies and saw The Dark Knight Rises. I really don't like most comic-book/superhero movies, so I wasn't expecting to enjoy it, but I did. A LOT more than the last Batman movie, The Dark Knight, which Sara and Adam dragged me to see right after it came out; it just about bored me to tears. But I actually found myself liking this one, and I'd even be willing to see it again. It helped a lot than instead of staring at Maggie Gyllenhaal's sad face, this time I got to gaze at the beautiful Marion Cotillard!


I mean, just LOOK at her! You wish you were this gorgeous, Anne Hathaway, but you're not! No woman is.

Sara and I stopped for candy and soda at a gas station on the way there, and I got all excited when the cashier put it in a
solid black plastic bag. It's the little things, y'all. I have a nice brown-and-white pattern going in the plarn I'm crocheting, but I'm saving up a little bag of other-colored plarn squares (black, gray, green, yellow, purple) and I hope to incorporate them in some special way.

And this was the conversation Sara and I had en route:
Me: I don't really want to see this, but it does have Marion Cotillard in it. And a child actress.
Sara: And the child actress is playing the young Marion Cotillard.
Me: But I thought she was playing the young Talia al Ghul.
Sara: Oh, yeah. [pause] Ha, just spoiled the ending for you!


35 DAYS LEFT UNTIL SEASON 10 OF NCIS!
rebecca_in_blue: (bemused shrug)
For unknown reasons, I got a bad stomachache right as I was going to bed on Friday night. I never threw up or had diarrhea, just a lot of sour-tasting burps. Ugh! Pepto-Bismal didn't help, and a hot bath only did a little. I didn't get to bed that night until after 3 am! And I had to wake up at eight the next morning to go to work. After working a long shift (and we were busy, of course - next week will only be worse) I came home, change, rested for a little bit, and left again to take "Briana," the girl I was matched with through Big Brothers Big Sisters, to the movies.

We watched Rango for free in the town square. I really liked the atmosphere -- a big screen under a big, starry summer sky, little kids playing on the grass, Girl Scouts selling concessions (I got a Nerds Rope, which is my crack, and a pickle; Briana got two bags of spicy Cheetos) -- but wow, was the movie boring. It was long, slow, and not funny at all; I really wonder who chose it and why. The weirdest thing of all was that it a close parody of Chinatown, only animated and told with desert creatures, and with all the sex and murder taken out. It was so weird. Some scenes were taken directly from Chinatown, and the villain was an exact caricature of John Huston's Noah Cross. I could appreciate it because I've seen and love Chinatown, but Rango is a kids movie (and a bad one, at that) where references to such an old, adult film really make no sense.

Briana seemed pretty bored during the movie. I don't blame her, but it made things feel awkward and painful, like I'm failing her. But, to my surprise, we actually talked most of the way home. Hallelujah! During previous things we've done, she's been so quiet, and trying to make conversation with her was like pulling teeth! But I know I was the same worse at that age, and I'm still hoping things will get better. Right now, I'll admit, thinking up stuff to do with her and finding time to do it still feels like a chore. I have this nagging feeling that I may suck at being a big sister.

Anyway, I didn't get home from the movie until after ten! I still can't quite believe that I pulled off such a long day on so little sleep. Today I'm off and slept in until two -- hallelujah! Now I'm just lazing around in my PJs, watching old NCIS episodes with Tovah. :)


Sara is reading some book (I forget the title) right now that's set in Germany during World War II. She was telling me about it last night, and this was our conversation:
Sara: "She keeps talking about something called the Anschluss, and I don't know what that is, but I remember they talked about it in The Sound of Music, and --"
Me: "Perhaps those who would remind you that the Anschluss is coming..."
Me and Sara, in perfect unison: "And it is coming, Captain!"

Hahaha.

On Sara's page-a-day calendar of art at the Met, I'm looking at Nocturne: The Thames at Battersea, an 1878 lithotint scraping by James McNeill Whistler. I really like the somber tone of it.

43 DAYS LEFT UNTIL SEASON 10 OF NCIS!
rebecca_in_blue: (dropped jaw)
A conversation I had with Adam while I was over at Mom's house this evening...

Adam: "You know, I really hate Father's Day. You see all these signs and stuff for it, and you know it's an important day for most families, but for you, it doesn't matter at all. It's just another day." [Is he just realizing this now? Our dad has been dead for nigh-on eight years!]

Me: "Dude, you're telling me this? I don't celebrate Christmas, remember?"

Adam: "Oh, yeah."

rebecca_in_blue: (bemused shrug)
I meant to post this some time ago, but I forgot about it. At least I got it up while we're still in January (barely). A list of a few exchanges I've heard over the past month or so.

Random guy: "Happy new year!"
Sally: "I wish people would stop saying that!" [She sounded so grumpy when she said it that I just had to laugh. Like, "How dare people tell me to be happy!"]

Aunt Connie: "Did you know that anything you can swallow orally, you can also fit up your rectum?" [I wish I could convey the surprise in her voice when she said this.]

Me: "I've just come from Grandma's house. God, it's depressing over there."
Eva: "Yeah, duh."

Me: "What's a hoagie?"
Sara: "It's the Yankee word for a po-boy."
Me: "Oh, okay."

Me: "Remember when Aunt Carolyn died, and it set off a chain-reaction of other people dying? Well, if there's a chain reaction when Grandma dies, I just hope Sable's a part of it. I mean, I'm sorry, Sable, I love you, but go toward the light."
Adam: [all pissy] "Well, is there anyone else you have your eye on to die?"
Me: "Well, I can certainly think of relatives I would rather die than Grandma."

Me: [after buying lunch from McDonald's yet again] "I've really got to stop eating so much fast food."
Sara: "Well, what do you expect? Grandma's dead! There's no one left to cook for us!"

On the art calendar, I'm looking at Fontainebleau Forest, an 1860 photograph negative by Eugène Cuvelier; it's a bleak but beautiful snowscape. Fontainebleau Forest is in northeastern France, not far from Villers-Cotterêts, and appears in other artworks and literature.

Only ONE WEEK LEFT until NCIS's 200th episode!
rebecca_in_blue: (raised eyebrows)

One thing I've always liked about my name is that I've never met a lot of other Rebeccas. (Unlike my sister, who's known about a dozen different Sara/Sarahs.) This bothered the hell out of me when I was a kid - for years, the only other Rebecca I'd ever heard of was Aunt Becky on Full House - but now I like having a name that's not too common. In fact, unless my memory fails me, I've only ever known four people with my name or variants of it: a classmate in middle school (Rebecca), a teacher in high school (Rebekka - ugh), a classmate in college (Rebecca), and Rebekah from my temple. A days ago, three of us ran into each other on Facebook. I redacted all the sensitive information, hence the big white spaces.



I'm not always a huge Facebook fan - it really can be stalker-liscious sometimes - but when ecounters like this happen, I'm glad I didn't delete my account.

This was the first year that I've ever had to work on Easter, but I found that I didn't mind so much. It felt like any other day to me. I had a good scare last night when I thought I'd lost my dogtag - I feel so naked without it - but it was found and all is good now.

A conversation I had with Adam while we were watching The Ten Commandments...
    Me: Don't you love how it's all set in Egypt, but the cast is all white people?
    Adam: You mean there aren't any Jewish actors in it?
    [Pause]
    Me: Are you saying Jewish people aren't white?
    Adam: I thought... they were referred to as... something else. 
    Me: What? Pray tell, what are they?
    Adam: [confused silence]
Honestly.

rebecca_in_blue: (Default)

Okay, a warning before you read any further: This entry will offend and/or disgust everybody. For those of you who read it anyway, I invite you to vote in comments on which exchange is the most appalling, A, B, C, or D.

(A) Apparently there was a discussion in one of Sara's classes over famous murders of recent years, and the Andrea Yates case came up. Sara told me later that when it happened, our mom cut out and saved all the newspaper and magazine articles about it. I don't remember her doing this, but it wouldn't surprise me if she did. I told Sara that I could picture Mom reading about it and thinking, "Yes, live the dream, Andrea! Kill your children!"

(B) During the same discussion, one student mentioned a woman who killed her baby in the microwave, and Sara matter-of-factly said, "I wonder how she fit that baby in there. I mean, I could never fit a baby in my microwave." At which point, several people in the class turned and stared at her.

(C) A few nights ago, I was putting a pizza in the oven for Sara and making fun of her fear of putting things in the oven herself. She got pissed and said, "Why don't you shut up before I shove you in the oven? That would be your real introduction to being a Jew." Maybe I shouldn't have been shocked after living with her for as long as I have, but my jaw still hit the ground.

Edited to add:
(D) While Sara and I were at Mom's house for dinner...
Adam: Weren't these Dad's bowls?
Me: I don't know. Maybe. [Pause] Oh, dammit! I forgot to ask who!
Adam: What?
Me: Sara and I are trying to look confused and ask "Who?" whenever anyone mentions Dad. You know, like we don't remember him. But we keep forgetting to do it!
Adam: [glares at me]

rebecca_in_blue: (dozing off)

For Christmas, ironically, Sara gave me a beautiful silver Star of David necklace that I attached to my dogtag chain.
Sara: What're you gonna do with all this Jew stuff after you convert to Mormonism?
Me: Well, no offense to the Mormons, but that's not something I ever see myself doing.

I was up until four in the morning on Christmas Day, in part because I went to the Midnight Mass at the cathedral (a few hours after attending Shabbat services at the temple).
Sara: You better not let the Jews find out you went to Midnight Mass.
Me: Oh please, what do you think they're gonna do?
Sara: They won't let you join in all their reindeer games!
Me: [dies laughing

On the twelfth day of Christmas, rebecca_in_blue sent to me...
Twelve obituaries drumming
Eleven seasons piping
Ten hurricanes a-leaping
Nine pecans dancing
Eight scattergories a-milking
Seven dreams a-doodling
Six cemeteries a-grieving
Five fre-e-e-ench films
Four boston terriers
Three church bells
Two young actresses
...and a depression in a birkin family.
Get your own Twelve Days:

I know these things are stupid, but I loved the "hurricanes a-leaping" and five French films, and the "depression in a Birkin family" made me burst out laughing. Those Birkins don't need any more depression.

rebecca_in_blue: (bemused shrug)
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What? There are four seasons? Not just hot and cold? Just kidding. You can see the seasons here in Louisiana, but you have to look (really! hard!) for them. I have a tag for each season in this LJ for that purpose.

Any guesses as to how Rebecca spent her evening? She was eating some very spicy boiled crabs off old newspapers, with three old Cajun ladies and one five-year-old one (my cousins from Alabama are in town). We were all buried up to our elbows in crab meat and pieces of shell, and my lips felt like they were on fire! Here are some snippets of conversation I want to remember.

Karla: Do I smell like crab?
Mackenzie (the five-year-old): No, you don't smell like crab, but the crabs do. They have pinchers to fight with, 'cause they think we're gonna kill 'em. And we do.

Grandma: I remember, after Hurricane Audrey in '57, my mama swore off crabs and crawfish for over a year.
Rebecca: (not getting it) Really? Why?
Grandma: 'Cause they're scavengers.
Rebecca: (still not getting it) So?
Grandma: Well, over 400 people drowned in Hurricane Audrey. You know, in the water. (I like to imagine her thinking, "What the hell? Do I have to draw her a picture?")
Rebecca: (with awakening horror) Oh, wait... you mean... oh, gross! That's disgusting!

Last week I began job-hunting in earnest. Lately I've begun to feel that no job on earth could be worse than the one I have now, and I know that's an exaggeration (my job isn't that bad, and there are certainly worse ones out there) but that's just how it feels to me. I would've started looking sooner, but I really hate job-hunting. I can't stop thinking back to the gut-clenching marathon of misery that was the Job Hunt of Summer '08. I keep telling myself that it won't be that bad, it couldn't possibly be because #1) I already have a job, something I didn't have that summer, and #2) I'm not living with Mom anymore, like I was then. Two big weights off my shoulders right there.

The job hunt has already had its ups and downs. The idea of new possibilities is hopeful and invigorating, but the application process is stressful and time-consuming. It's almost like having a second job. I hope to search thoroughly and consistently, but since I just started, I haven't even heard back from a single person yet, and I'm sure it'll be hard to keep the search up once the constant rejections start rolling in.

Still, I hope that 2011 will be a year of good things. It might even see Rebecca officially convert to Judaism. I hadn't intended to jump into that so soon, but I made the mistake of mentioned it to my rabbi, and now he seems to have hold of the idea like a dog with a bone. Say a little prayer that Rebecca's doing the right thing, because you all know how I go through phases, and there are some people out there that I would hate to disappoint.
rebecca_in_blue: (happy smile)

I've discovered that by adding ?style=mine to the end of any LJ page, you can make any journal or community appear in your own customized style! I discovered this by accident while visiting some NCIS community, and I've gone geek crazy with it! I've been visiting every journal and community I can find to see how they look in my journal style.

Below are four snippets of conversations with people who always crack me up. I don't think they have one brain-to-mouth censor between the three of them.

#1) This happened the other day, while I was reading Living a Jewish Life at work.
Ben: So you're going Jew, huh? I'll have to find some good Jew jokes to tell you. Hey, why do you want to convert, anyway? Is it cause all Jews have a lot of money?
Me: No, that's not it, and I could report you to the district manager for anti-semitism.
Ben: Oh, yeah? Well, I could report you for anti... British people, cause you're always making fun of my accent.
Me: You better report everybody in the store, then, cause we all make fun of your accent.

#2) This happened one day when it wasn't even hot!
Josh: It's so hot in this store, I think I might pass out.
Me: If you pass out, you know what I'll do?
Josh: Sexual things to my unconscious body?
[Pause.]
Me: [disgusted sigh] I was going to say, point at you and laugh.

#3) Sara has gotten into the habit of finding the worst fanfictions she possibly can and reading them to me. (And there is some disturbing shit out there! What if the NCIS team were babies? Or high school students? Or racehorse jockeys? No, I'm not even kidding.)
Sara: Oh, my God! Okay, listen to this. I just found this one...
Me: Shut up! I don't want to know!
Sara: ...where Abby has a baby with Ducky, and...
Me: What did I just say?

#4) And from this morning...
Sara: Today's Mom's birthday.
Me: Goddammit!
Sara: Sneaks up on you there, doesn't it, coming the same time every year?

Sara and I are (I hope) going used-car shopping tomorrow. Wish us luck!

rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)
I gave Sable a bath today, and needless to say, he was not happy during, but afterwards, he was as energetic as I'd seen him in years. When I took him on a walk, he actually ran a little! Maybe I managed to temporarily wash all the old age off him.

I went for a very long bike ride today, and the weather was so bizarre. The sky was completely overcast (tried to rain, but never really did) and I know this sounds crazy, but it was almost cold out. Cold! After months of it being hot and humid as all get-out! I throw up my hands at this!

Things I saw/found on my bike ride:

  • A black cat asleep in a yard of purple flowers.
  • The words "Expect Blessings" written in chalk on a sidewalk.
  • A huge group of people holding some sort of party/barbeque (probably a birthday party; there were lots of balloons) all over their front porch and yard.
  • And... a dollar bill on the ground! I was so excited, because this is the second time in the past two weeks or so that I've found a dollar on the ground while bike riding. I did the exact same thing today that I did last time, which was bike to the gas station, buy a six-pack of Oreos, bike to Mom's house, and eat them with whole milk and peanut-butter. I can make a meal out of that.
Me and Sara yesterday, in the pouring rain... 
Sara: Why are you wearing your sunglasses when it's obviously not sunny?
Me: Maybe I'm keeping the rain out of my eyes!
rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)

Scenes from an office supply store breakroom...
EJ: I'm gonna have the most awesome time this weekend, Rebecca.
Me: No, I'm gonna have the most awesome time, EJ.
EJ: Oh, yeah? What're you doing?
Me: You first.
EJ: Well, I'm going camping! With lesbians! And there's gonna be alcohol!
Me: Well, I'm going canoeing! With Mormons! And there's gonna be... uh... Kool-Aid!
Sally: Really? I didn't think we had any Mormons down here. Aren't they all up in Utah?

Kim was a little late getting back from lunch today, so Sally asked me to stay for a few minutes extra. Which I was fine with. Then a few minutes turned into a freaking half-hour because my last customer of the day was very blatantly trying to rip us off for $200. I realized what was up right away (it's an old trick at our store, and not even a very good one -- like, if you're going to try to rip someone off, couldn't you at least not be sloppy about it?) but it was still very sucky to deal with. After I finally got out of there, the first song I heard when I turned on the ignition in my truck was The Cure's "Friday I'm in Love!" What better sign of a fabulous weekend?

My aunt invited me to go canoeing last Saturday, when I was at her house for Adam's birthday, but I haven't posted about it before now because I was sure that if I did, something would happen to throw a wrench in the plans. (I'm still not entirely sure something won't.) I'm so excited!

Sable has gotten quite tepid towards strangers in his old age. (Sara likes to say, "Death? Is that you?" in her Sable voice whenever he sees someone coming.) But he still has a bloodlust for this one specific mailman, who remembers him from when we lived at Mom's house. We saw him today on our walk, and Sable starting lunging on his leash and barking, and the mailman said, "One day that dog's gonna like me." Lately Sable's been burying and reburying this piece of rawhide he found in the parking lot. He digs a hole with his paws, then pushes the dirt back in with his head and pats it down with his face -- it's hilarious to watch.

Now to go get some shut-eye. My uncle wants us to leave for the river at eight tomorrow morning.

rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)

Things that make you burst out laughing:

  • Lying on the couch with Sara, watching General Hospital, and trying to figure out what the hell's been happening on this soap opera since we stopped watching it regularly about ten years ago.
  • Me and Sara, after hearing some family drama from Grandma, who said she'd keep praying. Me: "When is Grandma going to realize that her damn prayers aren't doing us any good?" Sara: "If this is what our family's like when Grandma is praying, imagine where we'd be if she hadn't been praying all these years." 
  • I taught Sara to sing the last names of every U.S. president (in order), and when she finally learned the whole thing, we screamed the names back and forth at each other, sounding really, really angry. Taylor! Fillmore! Pierce! Buchanan!
  • A few days ago at work, after I'd actually managed to get a lot of sign-ups, I said jokingly to Gina, "If anybody ever asks me what my secret is to getting sign-ups, I'm going to say, 'Well, I tell my customers if they sign up now, I'll repay them with sexual favors later.'" Gina laughed and said, also jokingly, "Yeah, you should say that someday, that'd be hilarious." I managed to pause for a minute and then (even more impressively) say with a straight face, "Yeah, and then I'd say, 'Oh, that reminds me, Gina's husband signed up in a hurry.'" Gina did the most hilarious jaw-drop you've ever seen in your life, and I spent the rest of the day chuckling.
And tomorrow morning, Sara and I are going to a breakfast buffet! She's skeptic that I'll actually get up that early, but I can some damn amazing things when food is involved. Case in Point: While living in France, woke up at 7 am four days a week for the cantine breakfasts, which I loved so much that it freaked out the other assistants.
rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)
Me and my sister, at breakfast this morning...

Sara: Remember the Sweet Valley Twins books? Remember, they were about Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, and they were identical twins, and they lived in California, and they both had long blonde hair and blue-green eyes and heart-shaped faces and dimples? Remember?

Rebecca: *resisting the urge to vomit into her cereal*

Sara: What?
rebecca_in_blue: (shocked)

The first words I heard upon entering work yesterday morning, from my manager: "...deal with this absolute craziness. Hi, Rebecca! Have you seen my glasses?" Typical Sally.

The last few days were the hardest, most bitter freeze in my grandma's recent memory. Everyone covered their plants with plastic and blankets, and when I walked Sable in the mornings, the puddles on the street were actually frozen. It sucked because as long as the sun was out, Sable didn't seem to mind the cold and wanted to go on long walks, and I came back in freezing. But the cold snap is over for now, and yesterday was so warm and sunny that I went bike-riding for the first time all year! Sara gave me a headlight to put on my handlebar for when I go riding at night, so now it's officially the coolest bike ever.

rebecca_in_blue: (bemused shrug)
Sara is still in North Carolina. Rather than postcards, she's been sending me text messages:

Sara: Going to a restaurant that serves goat cheese pizza. Wish I could bring some back to you.
Me: She out there eating my goat cheese and having a fine time and I'm stuck here with these lousy music lessons and I hate them! (A parody of "The Parent Trap.")

Me: I can't eat, sleep, or think properly without you anymore! My mind and my spirit are going north and south! (A parody of "Big Trouble in Little China.")

Sara: Do you want some candy or a Christmas ornament? Do not say both! Or a bell for your bike?
Me: Surprise me.I had another French encounter at work yesterday. A mom and her son were shopping for school supplies, and while they spoke to me in English, they could tell it wasn't their first language. The problem was, I wasn't sure if the language they were speaking to each other was French or not. I thought, Shit, my French must be deteriorating like crazy I can't even recognize the language when I hear it! But finally I just came out and asked them. The below conversation (a rough transcript) was all in French.

Me: Is that French you're speaking?
The mom: [surprised] Yes.
Me: Are you from France?
The mom: No, we're from Quebec.
Me: Oh. [pause, fumbling] I wasn't sure if you were speaking French or not. I studied Parisian French, and I never heard a Quebec accent before.
The mom: Yes, it's a little different from Parisian French, the accent and things are different. It's like with Cajun French, how that has its own accent and everything.
Me: Yes, my grandmother's first language is Cajun French, but I can speak to her in Parisian French, and she understands most of it. [fumbling more, and using tu instead of vous!] But as you see, I've forgotten a lot of my French.

It was pretty cool.

One of my aunts gave me a vacuum cleaner, but Grandma said it was too big for our little apartment, so she kept it and gave me hers. I don't think she really wanted it anymore because I had borrowed it once before, and apparently ever since then, it makes her carpet smell like Sable. Wtf? But I'm happy, because it's a really powerful little vacuum cleaner. I just gone done vacuuming this room, and it feels so good to have a spotlessly clean carpet again! I hope I can get into the habit of vacuuming once a week. Haha, look at me, getting excited over a vacuum cleaner. When did I get so lame?

But I do have a good reason to be excited: tomorrow Adam and I are making a day trip to Houston to visit the cemetery, find Roger's grave, visit Mark & Vickie, and eat out somewhere nice. I hope it'll be Star Pizza, so I can get some goat cheese. The only down side is that I feel bad about leaving Sable all day.

I fixed myself a can of green beans, following Grandma's recipe, but as always, mine are nowhere near as good as hers. Maybe there's some secret trick to it. Like, you have to be Grandma to do it.
rebecca_in_blue: (dropped jaw)

Last night, after yet another episode of Rebecca barfing:
Me: But at least I'm not having diarrhea anymore.
Sara: Oh, yeah? Says who?
Me: My ass and the cork I shoved up it.
Sara: That cork was Hitler in a past life.
[Pause]
Me: What?
Sara: I said that cork was Hitler in a past life. Like, it did something so bad in its last life that it was reborn as a cork shoved up your ass.

rebecca_in_blue: (curious)

Scenes from an office supply store breakroom...
Kim: I don't mind working a lot of hours. I mean, I have no life. American Idol is basically my life now.
Tim: WOW is my life.
Me: WOW?
Tim: It's this game called World of Warcraft.
Me: Oh, well, YouTube is my life.

Sad but true.

rebecca_in_blue: (happy smile)

Talking about "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"...
Me: You know Elle Fanning was in that.

Adam: I guess. She didn't even have any lines.
Me: Yes, she did. I saw her part.
Adam: No, she didn't. They had Keira Knightley do her voice.
[pause]
Me: Keira Knightley?
Adam: [pissed] I don't know what her name is!
Me: You mean Cate Blanchett? Is that who you mean?
Adam: I said I don't know her name.
Me: They didn't have Cate Blanchett do her voice. They had them both record the lines, and then they combined her voice with Elle Fanning's.
Adam: Oh.
Me: You thought Cate Blanchett was Keira Knightley? That's a new one. I'll have to tell Sara that.
Adam: Yes, I'm sure you will. [sighs angrily]
Me: [laughing hysterically] Boy, you haven't changed a bit.

rebecca_in_blue: (pursed lips)

Some things I've heard recently that have made me laugh...

My cousin: You know, ever since I started living with Grandma, I've just gotten so tired of eating.

Me and my other cousin, talking about W, the new biopic of Bush...
Olivia: I hear it's supposed to make him look really bad.
Me: Does he really need help making himself look bad?

Me and my sister...
Sara: You know what the happiest day of my life was?
Me: The day you scored a perfect 100 on Piano Player?
Sara: Hmph.

My sister and her co-worker...
Sara: I live with my sister, Harrison. Every evening she darns socks while I read aloud to her from the Bible.
Harrison: [incredulous] Really?
Sara: [sarcastically] Yes, Harrison, really.
Harrison: [even more incredulous] You really do that? You read from the Bible?

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rebecca_in_blue

March 2013

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