Rebecca is in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery...

[rebecca_in_blue]

So I'm thinking about changing my name. I've wanted to do it for a long time, in the sort of half-hearted way of most people who aren't totally happy with their name. I mean, I think it's common to hear people say they hate their name or want to change it, but rare to see anyone actually follow through and do it. For years I've been saying I want to change my name, but lately I've been giving serious thought. I don't know why now.

I love my first name and identify strongly with it. I love the sound of it -- dynamic, strong, and bold; even though I might not possess those qualities in abundance, I'm glad my name does, and I can't imagine I won't always feel this way. (And I'll always be grateful to my dad for giving it to me and not letting Mom go through with Jessica or whatever name she wanted.) According to one of Sara's baby name bibles: "Tender and graceful, Rebecca has long been a literary favorite. Recently, biblical 'rediscoveries' like Hannah and Abigail have been more popular, but Rebecca remains an unquestioned classic." (Gah, listen to me talking about names! But this is what living with Sara does to you.)

I like my middle name well enough. It's my last name that's the problem. The sound of the it, and having it constantly mispronounced, and always having to spell it for people -- those things don't really bother me anymore because I've gotten used to them. My last name wouldn't be so bad by itself, but it just clashes horribly with Rebecca. Sometime in college, in one of my French classes, we were learning about how the French language is basically built around avoiding cacophonies, and I realized that my first and last names create a cacophony! (I remember thinking, "How in the hell can I go to France with a cacophony in the middle of my name? They'll laugh me out of the country!" While in France, no one ever mentioned it, but I knew it was there, and that bothered me. But not as much as the boo-hiddy haircut I had while I was there.)

As I said, I've thought pretty hard about this, and I've decided that changing my name wouldn't feel like renouncing who I was and everything I did under my previous name. Probably because, again, I've never identified that much with my last name. It also wouldn't feel like I was separating myself from my family, since the new last name -- which I've had picked out since high school -- is also a family name, my grandmother's maiden name. (Even though none of the relatives that I'm close to/see regularly have this name.) It would probably present the same problems of getting mispronounced and misspelt, but it would go much better with Rebecca and give me a last name that I like as much as my first.

But of course, it turns out that changing your name is easier said than done. The process but varies by state, but it usually involves filing a name change petition, getting it approved, possibly paying some fee, then getting a new driver's lisence and social security card (and possibly a new birth certificate, and if I ever leave the country again, a new passport) -- plus changing records with your bank and employer.

I guess the question comes down to whether I want a new name enough to go through a buttload of paperwork for it. Feedback on this would be appreciated.

Comments

[babygoose85.livejournal.com]

My friend and her immediate family (husband and 2 kids at the time) all changed their last name. She said it was once of the best decisions she ever made... the only thing she regretted was not going with her gut on changing her first name, changing it from a somewhat abbreviation to the full length. I say go for it. I would like to know what any candidates for last name are.

[babygoose85.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, slips my memory. I do like the way it flows with your first name. It's possible at the time I knew of a dentist with a similar name. I have no clue what-so-ever.

[rebecca-in-blue.livejournal.com]

You were probably thinking of Dr. Moses, who was/is a pediatric dentist and whose daughters went to St. Louis (and who used to be my dentist and once told me, "God, your bite is so perfect" in what sounded to me like a very turned-on voice). I pointed this out to you at the time too. I don't try to remember all these things, I just do. My memory is a bit freakish this way.

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