on your journey, i will bless you...

One of my guilty pleasures is the hot food counter at Wal-Mart. I set foot in Wal-Mart maybe three or four times a year, but whenever I do, I make sure to grab some of their chicken tenders and potato wedges. They're so good, and last time I went, I found out they've started carrying little packets of dipping sauces at the same counter, including blue cheese sauce! I love you, cheap American food!

One of the Jonas Brothers was on this today's cover of Parade magazine. (One of the curly-haired ones, not the flat-ironed. I don't know their names. Alvin? Theodore?) I looked at it and the first thing I thought was, "Corey Haim was on magazine covers once. Is he going to wind up like Corey Haim someday?" This is one reason why I don't put much stock into child actors. Child actresses by and large tend to age much better, prettier, healthier, and more successfully.

The stupidest commercial on TV right now are the ones for Brinks Home Security. Every one shows a white woman in the suburbs having her door/window smashed in by a big, angry-looking man who's always carrying a crowbar (never a gun or a knife), is usually a minority, and often smashes in the window in broad daylight while the woman is standing right in front of it. Right. I know that as a white woman living in the 'burbs, I have my door kicked in on a regular basis!

One of my friends-and-relations went into my store yesterday and told me today that the short guy with the ponytail was "very obviously homosexual." I know just who she was talking about, and he is, but it still struck me as a somewhat... judgmental thing to say. I remember describing him as "flamboyant" when I first met him, and wondering the way you wonder about Quentin Tarantino, but unless he grabbed another guy and they made out right in front of her, how is it "very obvious"? My family can be nosy and gossipy sometimes (like most families in the south), and they can be annoying (like all families anywhere). But I don't think that gives you cause to write them off, to ignore them, to pretend they don't exist. That's why it pisses me off when my mom's family tries to defend her behavior. I don't think she has any good reason for it.

I've decided to make rice krispy treats, decorated to look like little American flags. I'm looking up the recipe in another window right now, and this afternoon, I'll be bringing them to a hamburger cook-out with CJ & Company. I hope they turn out well. I haven't had home-made rice krispy treats in forever. I was (I think) in elementary school when they started being sold in stores, and after that, my mom never made another batch. The store-bought ones are good, but they can't compare to home-made, which I remember being a lot more moist and buttery. Mmmm....

Speaking of which, I really, really hate the commercials for rice krispy cereal. You know the ones: they're all shot in black-and-white, with a soft-focus lens, and feature a mom and her kids, and they're so nauseating that I change the channel whenever one comes on. When I told Sara I would be making rice krispy treats, she said, "I'll get the tripod and the black-and-white film." Haha.

I've been hearing the song "Saturday in the Park" a lot on the radio this week. (That, and every song Michael Jackson ever did. I asked Sara yesterday, "How long do you think it'll be before they stop talking about him?") Anyway, it came on the radio at work yesterday, and I started singing along and asking EJ and Sally, "Can you dig it?" They just stared at me.

I put on the CD of Americana songs that I made to take to France. (I thought I could use it in a lesson about something. Never did.) I love the song "My Country, 'Tis of Thee," especially the second verse. I think it should be our national anthem, rather than "The Star-Spangled Banner," which nobody likes or knows the words to, and which there is a strong movement to replace.

For me, this election has been going on since September 2007. That's when I arrived in France, where my only English-language TV channel was CNN International, and pretty much all they ever talked about was the election. I can still recite all the commercials for The Campaign Trail with Jonathan Mann. "Who says the American election has to be boring?" "We never go anywhere on The Campaign Trail without packing heat!" "Stakes are high, people are cheering -- someone could get hurt!" "Who's telling the truth and who's making it up? On The Campaign Trail, we call it the Truth-o-Meter!" "Join us next time on The Campaign Trail. We'll do lunch!"

Easily the most annoying commercial on TV right now is the one for Special K chocolate cereal. Has anybody else seen it? The woman is frosting a chocolate cake with her kid, and she's just about to lick the bowl, but then she doesn't because she can have a bowl of this chocolate cereal instead. Ridiculous, right? I mean, the bowl of frosting is in her hand! No woman -- hell, no person -- has the willpower to resist licking a bowl of frosting when it's sitting there in their hand! It's so stupid that I yell at the TV every time I see it.

On that subject, my brother's birthday is tomorrow (he was born on Halloween; it suits him) and Grandma is making him a shrimp dinner and a yellow cake. I walked Sable over to her house after I got off work tonight, and I happened to walk through her door just in time to lick that bowl of yellow cake batter. Yellow cake batter is even better than yellow cake. This is why I could never make one; I'd eat the batter instead of baking it.

Last week Sara found this plastic replica of a human fetus at twelve weeks old that somebody left in her store. She's spent the last several days slowly, literally chewing it to pieces. That's right.