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rebecca_in_blueWell, I didn't cry at the visitation, the rosary, the funeral, or the graveside service for Grandma. I just got home from Shabbat services at the temple, changed into my PJs, and now I'm sitting here crying. I know even if I live to be as old as Methuselah, I will never meet a nicer lady, a better cook, or a person who loves our family so much, in spite of all our bitchiness and dysfunctionality. She was the only grandparent I ever knew. And I might just waste away without her food! Some random thoughts:
~ At the rosary service, a relative asked me why I wasn't praying the rosary. I wasn't offended at all, just puzzled, because said relative knows I converted to Judaism, and I really don't think she's so ignorant about Judaism as to expect a Jew to pray Catholic prayers. Oh, well.
~ Athena had the great idea for us to both wear purple, Grandma favorite color, to her funeral. I guess the silver lining in this situation was all the food and getting to see Athena. I miss her so much when she's away. Today she even came to services at the temple with me.
~ We tried to cut back on the number of cars in our funeral procession (I hate stopping for funeral processions, especially long ones), so a bunch of us piled into Aunt Connie's car. Seriously, it was as packed as a clown car, and Olivia said, "We're like Mexicans making a run for the border!" One car didn't stop for us, and Athena yelled, "If you don't stop, our grandma will haunt you!" Me: "Yeah, for the rest of your life, whenever you throw anything away, you'll hear a voice saying, 'Don't throw that out, it's still good!'"
~ I'm so cheap, it took Grandma's death for me to buy new batteries for my cameras! (I haven't had new ones since 2008, and those were a gift. I just kept recharing them.) I like taking photos at inappropriate times, so I bought my camera to the graveside service. I got a few good photos, including one of Eva looking at Grandma's urn that's really pretty.
~ We took Grandma's urn right up to the cemetery plot, put it in the ground, and then we all filed by and dropped in a handful of dirt. It was kinda neat - I'd never done that before.
~ No one could deny that Grandma was the glue that held our family together. My biggest fear is that with her dead, I'll become a stranger to my own relatives, like one member of my already family is.
On the bright side, 2012 can only get better from here on out, right? I mean, it HAS to!
~ At the rosary service, a relative asked me why I wasn't praying the rosary. I wasn't offended at all, just puzzled, because said relative knows I converted to Judaism, and I really don't think she's so ignorant about Judaism as to expect a Jew to pray Catholic prayers. Oh, well.
~ Athena had the great idea for us to both wear purple, Grandma favorite color, to her funeral. I guess the silver lining in this situation was all the food and getting to see Athena. I miss her so much when she's away. Today she even came to services at the temple with me.
~ We tried to cut back on the number of cars in our funeral procession (I hate stopping for funeral processions, especially long ones), so a bunch of us piled into Aunt Connie's car. Seriously, it was as packed as a clown car, and Olivia said, "We're like Mexicans making a run for the border!" One car didn't stop for us, and Athena yelled, "If you don't stop, our grandma will haunt you!" Me: "Yeah, for the rest of your life, whenever you throw anything away, you'll hear a voice saying, 'Don't throw that out, it's still good!'"
~ I'm so cheap, it took Grandma's death for me to buy new batteries for my cameras! (I haven't had new ones since 2008, and those were a gift. I just kept recharing them.) I like taking photos at inappropriate times, so I bought my camera to the graveside service. I got a few good photos, including one of Eva looking at Grandma's urn that's really pretty.
~ We took Grandma's urn right up to the cemetery plot, put it in the ground, and then we all filed by and dropped in a handful of dirt. It was kinda neat - I'd never done that before.
~ No one could deny that Grandma was the glue that held our family together. My biggest fear is that with her dead, I'll become a stranger to my own relatives, like one member of my already family is.
On the bright side, 2012 can only get better from here on out, right? I mean, it HAS to!
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no subject
Date: 2012-01-07 09:42 am (UTC)Crying is good.
I really hope 2012 gets far better for you.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-07 09:42 pm (UTC)I hope things are better for you.