Baruch dayan ha'emet.

[rebecca_in_blue]

I got the call from my mom about an hour ago. My grandma died about two hours ago.

"We do best homage to our dead when we live our lives most fully, even in the shadow of our loss." This is a line from The Blessing of Memory, one of the prayers we read before Kaddish in our siddur. It always reminds me of this scene between Ponette and her mother at the end of Ponette:

La mère: Pourquoi t'es vivante? Pour avoir envie tout. C'est pour ça que je suis revenue. T'a peur de la vie, ma fille?
Ponette: Non.
La mère: Non, la vie, c'est pas trop forte pour ma fille. On n'aime pas des enfants negligents. Et c'est quoi, un enfant negligent?
Ponette: C'est... un enfant qui oblit de rire?
La mère: Exactement! C'est un enfant qui oblit de rire. Alors, un peut mourir, mais il faut mourir vivant! Très vivant. Et avant, tout est à toi. Il faut que tu goûtes à tout, à tous, à toutes, et après, tu peux mourir.
Ponette: Oui, il faut goûter à tout!
La mère: Et Ponette, quand tu voudras, tu saut et puis attraper un souvenir de moi. D'accord?
Ponette: D'accord.

Edited to add: Sara asked me what this meant in English, so here is a video with English subtitles. The conversation I quoted starts around 3:30, but the whole thing is worth watching. Thank you, Jacques Doillon (tangently related to the Birkins), for helping us all learn how to grieve.

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