rebecca_in_blue | Entries tagged with hahaha

Sara and I dropped Tovah off at Mom's house last night. When we packed up her dishes, litter box, and cat tree, she got so scared that she hid under Sara's bed and spent the whole drive meowing like she was begging for her life. Maybe she thought she was going back to the pound. But once she saw that she was just going to another house where she's still the only cat, she seemed okay. Sara has put up more of a fuss than Tovah did. "My poor BABY! I miss her so MUCH!" When we dropped her off, Adam and I quoted the exchange from that episode of Star Trek where Data has to leave Spot with Warf. Hahaha!

Our trip up here was uneventful, just looong. And the stretch from northern Louisiana into southern Arkansas almost did me in. About forty miles of highway that had signs every five feet reading Speed Limit 55, Speed limit enforced by radar, and Speed Zone Ahead. Ugh! We drove from here to Little Rock, but we only had to map the route between Natchitoches and Little Rock, because we still remember the way to Natchitoches that well. It felt so good to get out of the truck after we finally found Athena and Josh's place. Athena was standing in her front lawn waving -- haha, I love her! We had dinner at the Red Lobster here (Sara insisted, of course) and watched Taken 2.

Some lol's of our trip so far...
Sara: "Look, look!" Both of us, in unison: "It's black silhouetted cowboy leaning against fencepost!"
Me: "We need a trash bag." Sara: "There's no room for a trash bag! There's barely enough room for us!"
Sara: "Wait a minute. Is this... One Direction?" Me: [singing along with You Don't Know You're Beautiful] "Yes!" (Sara refused to listen to any "Jew songs" or Les Miserables, but I did have to listen to "Merry Go 'Round" and "Begin Again" three times each! Hmph.)
Me: [ranking the best Jean Valjeans] "It goes like this. Alfie Boe, Hugh Jackman, and then, if there's any room left at the bottom, Colm Wilkinson." Athena: [gasp] "Blasphemy!"
Sara: "What sort of gun is it? I mean, what does it shoot?" Athena: "It shoots bullets, Sara." Sara: "Well, I thought maybe it shot beanbags or something." Rebecca: [dies laughing]

P.S. It's so cold up here! You know you're from the south when Arkansas is too cold for you!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Athena talking to Ayla

This week was my dad's deathiversary, so his name was read from the bema during services last night. At least, it kinda was. The temple secretary accidentally transcribed his first name as Don instead of John on the yarhzeit list. (I corrected that right away.) But I'm just happy his name was finally read. It wasn't last year, even though he was dead then and I'd submitted his name to the list.

When I told Sara how they'd gotten his name wrong, she remembered the old story about when Dad and Aunt Vickie were being born, and another woman in the maternity ward told my grandmother she should name them Bonnie and Donny. (Ugh! Fortunately, my grandmother chose the infinitely better names John and Victoria. Let no one say she was a bad namer!) I'd forgotten that, and Sara remembered -- this has never happened before!

And now for no real reason, some funnies, courtesy of the Jews:

Sandy (conducting services): "And now, please rise for the t'filah." (The t'filah is the name of a Jewish prayer.) Paul: "What? The tequila?" Me (singsong): "Someone has a drinking problem." [This one happened just last night.]

This one happened one day when I found a lighter on the sidewalk outside the temple. I still have it and use it to light my Shabbat candles on Friday evenings (when it occurs to me). Me: "Paul, look what I found outside." Paul: "Okay, we'll meet in the courtyard after services. You bring the lighter, and I'll bring the joint!" [Damn, that guy cracks me up.]

Michael (Sassy Jewish Grandfather #1), at an oneg: "Rebecca, look over there!" I look away, and he immediately steals the cookie off my plate and stuffs it in his mouth. Yes, I walked right into that one.

Karen: "I'm sorry I couldn't come to temple last week, but I was in the hospital." Michael: "Oh, I hope it wasn't anything serious." Karen: "Well, doesn't every Jewish girl need a nose job?" [I died laughing!]

Rabbi W: "Well, I'll have to go back to the hotel after Torah study to pick up our dog. We have to check out by noon." Karen: "That's perfect because it'll give the men time to pick up something to eat for the men's spirituality luncheon. So they can go get their food while you go get your dog." Rabbi W: (offended) "Well, I'm not going to eat my dog."

Right now I'm lazing around with Tovah and writing fanfiction before I have to go to work. And I'm determined to bring my huge piles of paper and cardboard to the recycling truck today. Good Shabbos to you!

On the art calendar, I'm looking at Tahitian Faces, an 1899 charcoal drawing by Paul Gauguin. Maybe he was saving the eyes for last.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Skyscraper, Maddy Jane

I meant to post this some time ago, but I forgot about it. At least I got it up while we're still in January (barely). A list of a few exchanges I've heard over the past month or so.

Random guy: "Happy new year!"
Sally: "I wish people would stop saying that!" [She sounded so grumpy when she said it that I just had to laugh. Like, "How dare people tell me to be happy!"]

Aunt Connie: "Did you know that anything you can swallow orally, you can also fit up your rectum?" [I wish I could convey the surprise in her voice when she said this.]

Me: "I've just come from Grandma's house. God, it's depressing over there."
Eva: "Yeah, duh."

Me: "What's a hoagie?"
Sara: "It's the Yankee word for a po-boy."
Me: "Oh, okay."

Me: "Remember when Aunt Carolyn died, and it set off a chain-reaction of other people dying? Well, if there's a chain reaction when Grandma dies, I just hope Sable's a part of it. I mean, I'm sorry, Sable, I love you, but go toward the light."
Adam: [all pissy] "Well, is there anyone else you have your eye on to die?"
Me: "Well, I can certainly think of relatives I would rather die than Grandma."

Me: [after buying lunch from McDonald's yet again] "I've really got to stop eating so much fast food."
Sara: "Well, what do you expect? Grandma's dead! There's no one left to cook for us!"

On the art calendar, I'm looking at Fontainebleau Forest, an 1860 photograph negative by Eugène Cuvelier; it's a bleak but beautiful snowscape. Fontainebleau Forest is in northeastern France, not far from Villers-Cotterêts, and appears in other artworks and literature.

Only ONE WEEK LEFT until NCIS's 200th episode!

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: Slow Me Down, Emmy Rossum

Sara: "Why didn't Moses get enter the Promised Land?"
Me: "Because God decreed that he wouldn't."
Sara: "Why? Because Moses didn't invoke God's name when he struck the rock to yield water in the desert?"
Me: [jaw hanging on the ground]

Honestly, I don't know when I've ever been more shocked. She also decided that Sable's Hebrew name is Shlomo (which is a real Hebrew name, by the way, the Hebrew form of Solomon), which cracked me up to no end. Now all three of us have Hebrew names!

Current Mood: I'm not a warthog!
Current Music: What a Fool Believes, The Doobie Brothers

All these LiveJournal hiccups have been getting on my last nerve! Most people are having trouble accessing the site, right, not just me? I read a crazy-sounding theory that it's a massive hacker attack launched by pro-Kremlin forces in Russia, where LJ is the main platform for political dissenters. All I know is that not being able to get to my NCIS communities is driving me crazy! Anyway...

Name-related funnies unrelated to Sara:

#1
Michael and Brenda (Sassy Jewish Grandparents #1) invited me out for coffee last weekend. I had posted on FaceBook a while back that I was "kinda getting nervous" about converting, and I suspect they wanted to make sure I wasn't backing out. Brenda asked me if I had picked out a Jewish name yet. I'm a little surprised when people ask me this (my rabbi did) because I would think it'd be obvious that I'm picking Rivka, which is Rebecca in its Hebrew form. I love them both! They're such strong-sounding names to to me. Anyway, I told Brenda that I had chosen Rivka, and she said, "Oh, that's Rebekah's [their daughter] Hebrew name too! Isn't that a coincidence?" Me: "Well, it's the Hebrew version of Rebecca." Brenda: "Oh. Yes, of course." Michael: [rolling his eyes] "Oy, Brenda..."

#2
When I was walking Sable that night, my downstairs neighbors were outside barbequing and one of them asked me what his name was. I told her Sable, but she misheard C'est Bon and proceeded to drunkenly call, "C'est bon, c'est bon!" trying to get him to come to her. (He never comes when he's called. He's too old, probably deaf, and possibly blind.) But how Cajun is that?

54 DAYS LEFT until the Season 9 premiere of NCIS!

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Gives You Hell, All-American Rejects

I had a long, nonsensical conversation with my sister the other night, in which she kept ordering me to bring her a "dog pet," then a "dog pillow," and got mad when I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. We went on in that vein for a while before I finally realized she was talking in her sleep. (Heaven help me, she's crazy even in her sleep!) She told me later that she didn't know what she was talking about, except that it seemed really obvious. Also...

[Upon getting back from having coffee with my sassy Jewish grandfather]
Sara: Where have you been?
Me: Oh, I met Mr. G----.
Sara: Where? At some kind of no-tell motel?

Sara: Remember that old TV show of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember, there was this one episode where they found a magic pizza box that was never empty? Like, every time they opened it up, there would be a pizza inside?
Me: How do you remember this?
Sara: I don't know. It's just stayed with me all these years. That, and Nils Karlsson the elf.
Me: The meatball is as big as they are!

I had another job interview this morning and miraculously managed to get to it on time, despite majorly oversleeping. I'm not sure yet if it's a job I want or will get. We'll see.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Life After You, Chris Daughtry

For Christmas, ironically, Sara gave me a beautiful silver Star of David necklace that I attached to my dogtag chain.
Sara: What're you gonna do with all this Jew stuff after you convert to Mormonism?
Me: Well, no offense to the Mormons, but that's not something I ever see myself doing.

I was up until four in the morning on Christmas Day, in part because I went to the Midnight Mass at the cathedral (a few hours after attending Shabbat services at the temple).
Sara: You better not let the Jews find out you went to Midnight Mass.
Me: Oh please, what do you think they're gonna do?
Sara: They won't let you join in all their reindeer games!
Me: [dies laughing]

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

rebecca_in_blue sent to me...

Twelve obituaries drumming

Eleven seasons piping

Ten hurricanes a-leaping

Nine pecans dancing

Eight scattergories a-milking

Seven dreams a-doodling

Six cemeteries a-grieving

Five fre-e-e-ench films

Four boston terriers

Three church bells

Two young actresses

...and a depression in a birkin family.

I know these things are stupid, but I loved the "hurricanes a-leaping" and five French films, and the "depression in a Birkin family" made me burst out laughing. Those Birkins don't need any ~~more~~ depression.

Current Mood: exhausted post-Christmas daze
Current Music: Send Me on My Way, Rusted Root

I've discovered that by adding ?style=mine to the end of any LJ page, you can make any journal or community appear in your own customized style! I discovered this by accident while visiting some NCIS community, and I've gone geek crazy with it! I've been visiting every journal and community I can find to see how they look in my journal style.

Below are four snippets of conversations with people who always crack me up. I don't think they have one brain-to-mouth censor between the three of them.

#1) This happened the other day, while I was reading Living a Jewish Life at work.
Ben: So you're going Jew, huh? I'll have to find some good Jew jokes to tell you. Hey, why do you want to convert, anyway? Is it cause all Jews have a lot of money?
Me: No, that's not it, and I could report you to the district manager for anti-semitism.
Ben: Oh, yeah? Well, I could report you for anti... British people, cause you're always making fun of my accent.
Me: You better report everybody in the store, then, cause we all make fun of your accent.

#2) This happened one day when it wasn't even hot!
Josh: It's so hot in this store, I think I might pass out.
Me: If you pass out, you know what I'll do?
Josh: Sexual things to my unconscious body?
[Pause.]
Me: [disgusted sigh] I was going to say, point at you and laugh.

#3) Sara has gotten into the habit of finding the worst fanfictions she possibly can and reading them to me. (And there is some disturbing shit out there! What if the NCIS team were babies? Or high school students? Or racehorse jockeys? No, I'm not even kidding.)
Sara: Oh, my God! Okay, listen to this. I just found this one...
Me: Shut up! I don't want to know!
Sara: ...where Abby has a baby with Ducky, and...
Me: What did I just say?

#4) And from this morning...
Sara: Today's Mom's birthday.
Me: Goddammit!
Sara: Sneaks up on you there, doesn't it, coming the same time every year?

Sara and I are (I hope) going used-car shopping tomorrow. Wish us luck!

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: Orphan

Scenes from an office supply store breakroom...
EJ: I'm gonna have the most awesome time this weekend, Rebecca.
Me: No, I'm gonna have the most awesome time, EJ.
EJ: Oh, yeah? What're you doing?
Me: You first.
EJ: Well, I'm going camping! With lesbians! And there's gonna be alcohol!
Me: Well, I'm going canoeing! With Mormons! And there's gonna be... uh... Kool-Aid!
Sally: Really? I didn't think we had any Mormons down here. Aren't they all up in Utah?

Kim was a little late getting back from lunch today, so Sally asked me to stay for a few minutes extra. Which I was fine with. Then a few minutes turned into a freaking half-hour because my last customer of the day was very blatantly trying to rip us off for $200. I realized what was up right away (it's an old trick at our store, and not even a very good one -- like, if you're going to try to rip someone off, couldn't you at least not be sloppy about it?) but it was still very sucky to deal with. After I finally got out of there, the first song I heard when I turned on the ignition in my truck was The Cure's "Friday I'm in Love!" What better sign of a fabulous weekend?

My aunt invited me to go canoeing last Saturday, when I was at her house for Adam's birthday, but I haven't posted about it before now because I was sure that if I did, something would happen to throw a wrench in the plans. (I'm still not entirely sure something won't.) I'm so excited!

Sable has gotten quite tepid towards strangers in his old age. (Sara likes to say, "Death? Is that you?" in her Sable voice whenever he sees someone coming.) But he still has a bloodlust for this one specific mailman, who remembers him from when we lived at Mom's house. We saw him today on our walk, and Sable starting lunging on his leash and barking, and the mailman said, "One day that dog's gonna like me." Lately Sable's been burying and reburying this piece of rawhide he found in the parking lot. He digs a hole with his paws, then pushes the dirt back in with his head and pats it down with his face -- it's hilarious to watch.

Now to go get some shut-eye. My uncle wants us to leave for the river at eight tomorrow morning.

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: Friday I'm in Love, The Cure

Things that make you burst out laughing:

Lying on the couch with Sara, watching General Hospital, and trying to figure out what the hell's been happening on this soap opera since we stopped watching it regularly about ten years ago.
Me and Sara, after hearing some family drama from Grandma, who said she'd keep praying. Me: "When is Grandma going to realize that her damn prayers aren't doing us any good?" Sara: "If this is what our family's like when Grandma is praying, imagine where we'd be if she hadn't been praying all these years."
I taught Sara to sing the last names of every U.S. president (in order), and when she finally learned the whole thing, we screamed the names back and forth at each other, sounding really, really angry. Taylor! Fillmore! Pierce! Buchanan!
A few days ago at work, after I'd actually managed to get a lot of sign-ups, I said jokingly to Gina, "If anybody ever asks me what my secret is to getting sign-ups, I'm going to say, 'Well, I tell my customers if they sign up now, I'll repay them with sexual favors later.'" Gina laughed and said, also jokingly, "Yeah, you should say that someday, that'd be hilarious." I managed to pause for a minute and then (even more impressively) say with a straight face, "Yeah, and then I'd say, 'Oh, that reminds me, Gina's husband signed up in a hurry.'" Gina did the most hilarious jaw-drop you've ever seen in your life, and I spent the rest of the day chuckling.

And tomorrow morning, Sara and I are going to a breakfast buffet! She's skeptic that I'll actually get up that early, but I can some damn amazing things when food is involved. Case in Point: While living in France, woke up at 7 am four days a week for the cantine breakfasts, which I loved so much that it freaked out the other assistants.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Carryin' the Banner, Newsies

Me and my sister, at breakfast this morning...

Sara: Remember the Sweet Valley Twins books? Remember, they were about Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield, and they were identical twins, and they lived in California, and they both had long blonde hair and blue-green eyes and heart-shaped faces and dimples? Remember?

Rebecca: *resisting the urge to vomit into her cereal*

Sara: What?

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: You've Been a Friend to Me, LG Jones

Right now I'm boiling myself some eggs for a late supper, and as they're still bubbling in the pot, I went to Google to find out how I'm supposed to know when they're done. I started to type in "how to tell if eggs are boiled" and got as far as "how to tell..." when Google gave me these suggestions:

...if a guy likes you
...if a girl likes you
...if someone is lying
...if you're pregnant
...if a girl is a virgin
...a guy you like him
...a girl you like her
...someone you love them
...if a diamond is real
...if your cat is plotting to kill you

Haha, I love it! What great suggestions, especially if anyone should happen to be wondering whether a girl they know is pregnant and a virgin and how to tell her they like her and whether a diamond she gave them is real and if she's lying about where she got said diamond!

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: Eggs boiling, Sara watching TV

I used to have a file of poems about October, and there were some pretty lovely verses in it, one of my favorites being: "Suns and skies and clouds of June / And flowers of June together / Ye cannot rival for one hour / October's bright blue weather." But lately I had begun to wonder whether all those poems lied to me, because last week was almost nonstop rain and washed-out gray skies -- bleh. But this week the sun finally came out! I think of it as Mother Nature's birthday gift to me. Today Sable and I went for a nice afternoon walk around the block, admired the neighborhood Halloween decorations, met a very sweet poodle who lives in the corner house, and tried to make friends with the black cat who lives down the street (she is gradually letting us get closer to her, but she hasn't let me pet her; she seems more scared of me than of Sable).

I got a lot of great gifts for my birthday, among them three movies with child actresses (Pan's Labyrinth, Paper Moon, Phoebe in Wonderland); a set of salt and pepper shakers shaped like a pumpkin and a squash; a can of mace (from Ben -- wtf?); and... my old eighth-grade reading textbook! I also bought some things for myself, using up the last of my work gift card: another poly-expanding file (I love those -- they're so great for organizing shit); photo frame magnets; and some dirt-cheap pens and pen case that are actually pretty nice. Sara was making fun of how geeky I am: "Oh boy, you guys, a file folder! Pens in a pen case! And an old reading textbook! This is the best birthday ever, you guys!" Me: "Shut up!"

Last night we watched Paper Moon, which was the first time I'd seen it since I watched it on YouTube in France. The special features on it were pretty cool and interesting. I've always wondered about the hat that Tatum O'Neal wears throughout, and it was created around one specific scene (where Addie hides $600 in her hat band while she and Moses are in jail).

Current Mood: off tomorrow!
Current Music: Sara watching TV

I actually managed to get Sable a bottle of Royal Coat Express on Friday morning. (There was an article about it in the paper last week -- that's how I heard about it -- and ever since then it's been in crazy-demand.) I've been giving him a teaspoon every morning, and I really think he's scratching less. Grandma said she thought so too, when I took him over to her house.

Man, do I love my bike. Especially now that I've gotten it tricked out with a basket and bell. I went for a long ride today and realized that there's a real wealth of places I can reach on that bike: mom's house, grandma's house, work, the bank, the post office, the library, the lake, downtown. The only downside is the only fastfood place I can reach on it is Wendy's. But they do serve buffalo chicken there now, so I can't complain. If I should die in a bike accident, I want my epitaph to be, "She died as she had lived -- a cyclist." This is a real epitaph on a real person's grave.

Actually, in seriousness, I'd want my epitaph to be either Elle vole avec son miroir magique or She's flying with her magic mirror. (It's a line from Ponette. Ponette's father tells her that her mother is dead and asks, "Do you know what that means?" Ponette replies, "Yes, she's flying with her magic mirror.") Actually, I'm not sure I want to be buried at all.

Watching The Sound of Music with Sara last night...
Me: They make the landler look easy, but it's actually a very complicated dance.
Sara: It's not that complicated.
Me: Well, you could never do it.
Sara: That's because I always had a shitty partner. Some crazy, sickly, skinny asthmatic girl. I wonder whatever happened to that girl. I think she finally wheezed herself to death one winter.
Me: [laughing hysterically]

Current Mood: full
Current Music: The Sound of Music

Things I did today: washed Sable's beds, did my laundry, washed the dishes, gave Sable a bath, vacuumed, made the bed, folded Sara's clothes, and wrote out checks for the bills. So my weekend wasn't a complete waste after all, and now our apartment is sparkling clean! Sable was mad at me because he hates being clean, but I gave him some old pork and rice to make it up to him. Right now he's rolling around on his nice clean afghans.

Sable woke me up early this morning to take him on a walk, but it was so surprisingly cool and pleasant outside that I didn't mind. We walked almost two blocks, further than Sable's gone in a good while. But I was so tired from waking up early that I fell asleep on Grandma's couch when I went over this afternoon to eat spaghetti. I don't remember my dream, but I jolted awake from it ready to scream, "Don't hit the delete key!" Weird.

Sara and I watched High School Musical 2 on Disney last night. If you haven't seen those movies, you seriously should. They're so hilariously bad they're good, like that old Adam West Batman movie. Sara alternated between pointing at the screen and laughing or staring in transfixed horror. I just laughed. The downside is, she got one of the musical numbers stuck in her head and won't stop singing it!

The strangest thing happened at work on Friday. In the middle of the day, for no apparent reason, I started shaking uncontrollably. I wasn't in a noticeable way, just little tremors in my arms and chest that I couldn't stop. I think my heart started beating faster too, but I'm still not sure if that was my imagination or not. It happened to start right before my lunch hour, so I tried to quell it by eating a really huge lunch. That did seem to make it stop; maybe because my body was so busy digesting that it was too tired to keep shaking.

I called my aunt on Friday and got news on my cousin's first week at private school. Since I was raised Catholic, I never considered how insanely weird the religion must seem if you've never been exposed to it. Eva didn't understand why all the other kids called the man in black father (surely they're not all one family?) or why he threw water on them (she glared at him when he threw it on her! Heh, she's awesome!) or why they all suddenly started mumbling. Really, I'm impressed she wasn't more freaked out than she was.

I am so glad that Back-to-School is over.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Sara singing I Don't Dance

Sara is still in North Carolina. Rather than postcards, she's been sending me text messages:

Sara: Going to a restaurant that serves goat cheese pizza. Wish I could bring some back to you.
Me: She out there eating my goat cheese and having a fine time and I'm stuck here with these lousy music lessons and I hate them! (A parody of "The Parent Trap.")

Me: I can't eat, sleep, or think properly without you anymore! My mind and my spirit are going north and south! (A parody of "Big Trouble in Little China.")

Sara: Do you want some candy or a Christmas ornament? Do not say both! Or a bell for your bike?
Me: Surprise me.I had another French encounter at work yesterday. A mom and her son were shopping for school supplies, and while they spoke to me in English, they could tell it wasn't their first language. The problem was, I wasn't sure if the language they were speaking to each other was French or not. I thought, Shit, my French must be deteriorating like crazy I can't even recognize the language when I hear it! But finally I just came out and asked them. The below conversation (a rough transcript) was all in French.

Me: Is that French you're speaking?
The mom: [surprised] Yes.
Me: Are you from France?
The mom: No, we're from Quebec.
Me: Oh. [pause, fumbling] I wasn't sure if you were speaking French or not. I studied Parisian French, and I never heard a Quebec accent before.
The mom: Yes, it's a little different from Parisian French, the accent and things are different. It's like with Cajun French, how that has its own accent and everything.
Me: Yes, my grandmother's first language is Cajun French, but I can speak to her in Parisian French, and she understands most of it. [fumbling more, and using tu instead of vous!] But as you see, I've forgotten a lot of my French.

It was pretty cool.

One of my aunts gave me a vacuum cleaner, but Grandma said it was too big for our little apartment, so she kept it and gave me hers. I don't think she really wanted it anymore because I had borrowed it once before, and apparently ever since then, it makes her carpet smell like Sable. Wtf? But I'm happy, because it's a really powerful little vacuum cleaner. I just gone done vacuuming this room, and it feels so good to have a spotlessly clean carpet again! I hope I can get into the habit of vacuuming once a week. Haha, look at me, getting excited over a vacuum cleaner. When did I get so lame?

But I do have a good reason to be excited: tomorrow Adam and I are making a day trip to Houston to visit the cemetery, find Roger's grave, visit Mark & Vickie, and eat out somewhere nice. I hope it'll be Star Pizza, so I can get some goat cheese. The only down side is that I feel bad about leaving Sable all day.

I fixed myself a can of green beans, following Grandma's recipe, but as always, mine are nowhere near as good as hers. Maybe there's some secret trick to it. Like, you have to be Grandma to do it.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Will You Be There, Michael Jackson

Talking about "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"...
Me: You know Elle Fanning was in that.
Adam: I guess. She didn't even have any lines.
Me: Yes, she did. I saw her part.
Adam: No, she didn't. They had Keira Knightley do her voice.
[pause]
Me: Keira Knightley?
Adam: [pissed] I don't know what her name is!
Me: You mean Cate Blanchett? Is that who you mean?
Adam: I said I don't know her name.
Me: They didn't have Cate Blanchett do her voice. They had them both record the lines, and then they combined her voice with Elle Fanning's.
Adam: Oh.
Me: You thought Cate Blanchett was Keira Knightley? That's a new one. I'll have to tell Sara that.
Adam: Yes, I'm sure you will. [sighs angrily]
Me: [laughing hysterically] Boy, you haven't changed a bit.

Current Mood: I have a headache!
Current Music: Amazing, Janelle

We keep a big pad of paper in our pen department at work, so customers can test out the pens that are sold individually. Yesterday night someone wrote on it in huge letters, "What happens in Vegas... gets spread all over Heaven on Judgement Day!" Emily ripped the page off and showed it to me, and I showed it to Moe, and soon everyone in the store had seen it, and we all found it hilarious.

I was off today, so I rode my bike to Contraband Days. There were the usual carnival rides and foods that you see every year, but there was also a genuine freak show. The signs advertised the world's smallest woman, world's fattest man, and a two-headed calf, among other things. I bought a plate of funnel cakes and ate them on the lake front while listening to a Cajun band play "Jolie Blonde." Then a fat woman in a golf cart told me No Bikes Allowed and I headed home. It was probably a bad idea to eat a plateful of sugary funnel cakes so late in the day, since I have to be at work early tomorrow morning.

Mom and Adam are supposed to be arriving today, but I haven't heard from them yet. They probably won't get in until late.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Sara watching King of the Hill

I spent a very nice Easter Sunday at my aunt's house. She cooked a ton of food, including a ham, potato casserole, a fruit pizza, and two batches of Green Glop, one with pineapple, and one with no pineapple just for me! I only cooked one batch of Marlene's stuffing. I had wanted to make two at least, but I wasn't able to cook any on Saturday night because I had a really bad asthma attack. It was the worst I've had in a long time. I don't know why, but over the past few days, my asthma has suddenly gotten worse. So I'm now trying to take it easy, and I haven't had any more problems since that night.

It rained all day on Sunday, so Eva and I had to have our Easter egg hunt in the living room. She found more than I did. That girl is a hoot. At one point during lunch, everybody was talking about family resemblances and who looked like who, and Eva said to me: "Well, I don't which one of your parents you look like because I can't remember either of them." I laughed so hard.

I also finally remembered to ask to borrow their copy of Pan's Labyrinth and watched it last night. Damn. Some scenes had me sitting rigid and wide-eyed in my chair, while others made me cover my eyes and wince. I was actually happy when the DVD started skipping and I was forced to take a break from it all for a minute.

I just bought six heavenly hash eggs, my favorite Easter candy, for $1.50!

Current Mood: I hate making decisions
Current Music: Something Beautiful, Tracey Bonham

My eye seems to be slowly getting better. It helps that I'm wearing my glasses now, instead of my contacts. Thank goodness I finally fixed and cleaned my glasses to the point that I can wear them in public again. (They're a rather old pair, and I've stepped on them more times than I'll admit.) My eye is still sore and red, but it wasn't as bad today as it was yesterday. It was really painful then.

I watched Obama's inauguration on Tuesday! Of course, who didn't? Every channel seemed to be broadcasting it, so I doubt if there was anything else to watch. We even had it playing on the TV at our store, and usually we only play our advertisements on that. Watching the his inauguration while I worked made my job feel a lot more exhilrrating. I kept hoping the announcers at the ceremony would say his middle name, but they stuck with Barack H. I would flaunt a name like his, for the sole reason that it's totally unique. I mean, there have been Johns, Georges, and Williams, but there has never been a president named Barack Hussein Obama. But of course it's understandable why he doesn't want to use it.

Oh, and for those of you who didn't see it, the inauguration included a speech by Rev. Joseph Lowery, who ended with this little gem:

We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back,
where brown can stick around,
when yellow will be mellow,
when the red man can get ahead, man,
and when white will embrace what is right.

I laughed hysterically the first time I heard this. (As did many of the 2.5 million people there on the National Mall, including Obama himself. I saw the video.) And Clinton had Maya Angelou read at his inauguration! Her poetry can hardly compare to lines like "yellow will be mellow"! Apparently the lines are paraphrased from a Civil Rights chant, which makes them a little better. My first guess was that they must have been written by 7-year-old Sasha Obama.

I'm worried about the economy. Circuit City is closing all their stores in North America. They're one of our store's competitors, and our chain closed about 200 of its stores a few months ago.

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Dear Lord and Father of Mankind, Westminster Abbey Choir

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rebecca_in_blue

March 2013

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Page Summary

Greetings from Arkansas! Only four hundred miles later!
Rebecca got nothing done on her day off!
It's been a long January, but there's reason to believe --
Who needs the wrath of God when you have the wrath of the lamb?
But Rebecca's still waiting on pins and needles...
As long as I'm laughing with you...
This is what happens when we eat too many sweets.
Rebecca throws up her hands at this!
Rebecca doesn't care if Monday's blue!
But when Rebecca looks up, she just trips over things.
Mike Franks is Gibbs's Gibbs, but who's Rebecca's Gibbs?
A customer walked into our store two minutes before close tonight!
Rebecca made her first planogram today!
Yeah, you know you're jealous of my awesome bike.
The gayest man on earth would call High School Musical over-the-top!
I'm pretty sure Sable is deaf now. Or just very hard of hearing.
Oh, these happy family reunions.
Office supplies are a good Mother's Day gift, right?
But Rebecca still doesn't have any albuterol!
Rebecca is visiting a cemetery tomorrow! She hopes.

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on your journey, i will bless you...

...and you will be a blessing

Entries tagged with hahaha

Greetings from Arkansas! Only four hundred miles later!

Rebecca got nothing done on her day off!

It's been a long January, but there's reason to believe --

Who needs the wrath of God when you have the wrath of the lamb?

But Rebecca's still waiting on pins and needles...

As long as I'm laughing with you...

This is what happens when we eat too many sweets.

Rebecca throws up her hands at this!

Rebecca doesn't care if Monday's blue!

But when Rebecca looks up, she just trips over things.

Mike Franks is Gibbs's Gibbs, but who's Rebecca's Gibbs?

A customer walked into our store two minutes before close tonight!

Rebecca made her first planogram today!

Yeah, you know you're jealous of my awesome bike.

The gayest man on earth would call High School Musical over-the-top!

I'm pretty sure Sable is deaf now. Or just very hard of hearing.

Oh, these happy family reunions.

Office supplies are a good Mother's Day gift, right?

But Rebecca still doesn't have any albuterol!

Rebecca is visiting a cemetery tomorrow! She hopes.