rebecca_in_blue | Entries tagged with the things we say

A lot cooler.

The other day, as Aunt Carla was flipping around channels after we watched Jeopardy...
Aunt Carla: Oh, I think this is Wife Swap.
Grandma, in the most horrified voice you can imagine: Wife Swap?!
Aunt Carla: Mama, it's not what you think.

Other Grandma one-liners include "Why, that can't cost more than two dollars," after seeing Adam's iPod Nano, and "What fool does he pity?" after seeing Sara's old shirt with Mr. T. But my favorite is a conversation between her and Aunt Carla that I refer to as "classic Grandma." It was over an old shirt that Aunt Carla had finally thrown away. Grandma doesn't believe in throwing anything away, ever.

Grandma: We could've saved the buttons.
Aunt Carla: Mama, the buttons on that shirt were so old they had turned yellow.
Grandma: People might've thought they were gold.
(I can't even type it without laughing.)

Something else funny, although Grandma didn't say it, was between Adam and one of his Internet friends speculating about X-Men 3 before it was released.
Random Guy: I hope Gambit is in this one. Cajuns are so bad-ass.
Adam: Yeah, my grandma's Cajun. I'm sure she goes out and does a lot of bad-ass stuff when we're not looking.

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: On Account-a I Love You, Shirley Temple

When my sister came home from work today...
Sara: Perhaps I bought you a present because you did my laundry yesterday.
Me: Did you?
Sara: Perhaps.
Me: Well, either you did or you didn’t.
Sara: Perhaps it’s in the kitchen and you have to go g–
I shove Sara out of the way and run to the kitchen. She has bought me a bag of Cheeto’s, which I finish in about five hours.

A little while ago, after I hid my face with a book when I saw a bug flying around the room...
Sara: You look like a Jewish person when the Nazis are coming.
Me: What did you just say?
Sara: I said you look like a Jewish person when the Nazis are coming, like, "Maybe if I put this book over my face, they won’t know I’m a Jew."
Me: I can’t believe you just said that. You know you’re a terrible person? But you did buy me Cheeto’s, so it’s okay.

Current Mood: my head hurts
Current Music: Rhiannon, Fleetwood Mack

I got home from work today to find that a bag of Cheeto’s had magically appeared in the cabinet. Mom bought them, but for a few seconds, I swear I was convinced that I’d gotten them there purely by wishing, because ever since I ate two bags in two days last weekend, pretty much my only thought has been, Damnnit I want some more Cheeto’s. They might be replacing Lay’s as my unhealthy obsessive snack addiction.

My current job is not exactly what Lofton had described to me. They don’t seem to be looking for a new manager, or even another permanent worker. I might keep it through next week, might not. The store keeps pretty bizarre hours; apparently they’re only open five hours a day, four days a week. But they get so little business that it probably doesn’t pay to stay open any longer. Otherwise it’s an okay job. There are few customers, but they’re surprisingly polite; I think every person I checked out today said mam, ‘preciate it, and have a good one. And I don’t know what radio station my boss listens to, but it plays some damn good music. Today I heard Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl), Runnin’ on Empty, and Night Moves, all of which I love. My boss also has a pet Yorkie she brings to work with her.

Word-for-word conversation between me and a female sheriff who knocked on the door this morning while I was eating breakfast...
Her: Does John C----- live here?
Me (looking for a tactful answer): Uh, not anymore.
Her: Okay, did he move?
Me: Um, are you looking for him specifically?
Her: Yes.
Pause, as I try to think of reasons why a sheriff might possibly be looking for Dad. I come up with nothing.
Me: What in the world are you looking for him for?
Her: I have a jury subpoena for him.
Me: A what?
Her: A jury subpoena.
Another pause, as I try to figure out what a jury subpoena is. I guess I don’t watch enough Law & Order, because I didn’t know.
Me: Well, he died in 2004.
Her (no doubt wondering why I just didn’t say that in the first place): Okay, that’s all I needed to know.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: 1234, The Feist

I woke up hellishly early this morning to take the civil service test, which I found rather easy and sort of enjoyed. The proofreading section was fun. All in all, though, I really didn't put as much effort into my job search as I should have last week. Perhaps that's why I had such a depressing dream when I took a nap earlier this evening. In my dream, it was December, I was sitting on the loveseat in the living room, and I could hear Christmas songs playing on the radio in the kitchen. I thought it was so strange that it was already December, because it still felt like I had just gotten back from France. I still hadn't found a job, I was still living with Mom, and I remember thinking that one year ago, last December, I was at teaching a lesson about Christmas with Marie-France. (When she asked if I had a good Christmas song we could play, I suggested "Louisiana Christmas Day." Bad idea.)

Sara and I went to the library this afternoon, something I've been meaning to do since I got back. It was great to be back in a library of books that I could actually read. There are three books on my to-read list right now: Nim's Island, My Fifteen Minutes (autobiography of Sybil Jason), and Child Star (autobiography of Shirley Temple). This evening Sara and I watched The Children's Hour, which was somewhat disappointing. It bordered on a talkathon, and two child actresses were mediocre; I've heard that Bonita Granville and Marcia Mae Jones are much more impressive in These Three, the '30s version of the film.

Me to Sara: "If you ever tried to make a YouTube video, you would realize how much work it really is, and you'd go back to your baby name lists where you belong!"

Current Mood: wheezing
Current Music: the dishwasher running

Four random snippets of my life in France...

#1) I am fascinated by French children; I've been studying the language longer than some of them have been alive, but they still speak it better than me. Conversation with the little girl who was too short to reach the straw dispenser at McDonald's...
Me [handing her a straw]: Do you want a straw? Here.
Her: Yes, but I need four.
Me: What?
Her: I need four.
Me [handing her three more]: Oh, four. Here.
Her: Do you know where the napkins are?
Me: What?
Her: The napkins.
Me [looking in one napkin dispenser]: Oh, the napkins. Well, that's empty.
Her [as I start to look in another napkin dispenser]: No, that one's empty too.
Me: Oh. Uh, I don't know where the napkins are.
Her [wandering away]: Daddy, where are the napkins?

#2) Just when you think your French is improving, this happens. Conversation with the woman at the front desk of the town tourism office, during my hunt for my reci-passé...
Me: Excuse me, where is the Mairie, please?
Her: The what?
Me: Uh... the Mairie?
Her: Oh, the Mairie. Just leave our office, turn left, and it's next to the church.
Me: But... that's not the town hall next to the church?
Her: The Mairie is the town hall.
Me: Oh! They're the same thing?
Her: Yes...
Me: Oh, okay.

#3) Further proof that Nathalie is Hagrid: Hagrid's official job is keeper of the keys and grounds at Hogwarts; Nathalie is the gatekeeper at the lycée. Both of them live on their school grounds, both have big dogs (Fang and Mowgli), and students come to visit them for no apparent reason. Conversation with Heather at lunch...
Heather: Do you know exactly what Nathalie's job is here?
Me: I think maybe...
Heather & Me [in perfect unison]: ...she's like Hagrid.

#4) One day when Heather, Marlene, and I were in the kitchen, we watched part of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in German on TV. I translated line for line from memory alone...
Me: Oh, and now Harry's saying, "It's not Hogwarts without you, Hagrid."
Heather: Wow... you must really love this movie.
Me: No actually, I don't even like the first two movies that much. I just have a really good memory.
Heather: Yeah, sure you do.
Me: No, I really do!
Marlene: Rebecca, I think you could learn German just from watching these movies.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Just Like Me, DMC & Sarah McLachlan

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on your journey, i will bless you...

...and you will be a blessing

Entries tagged with the things we say

My grandma is cooler than your grandma.

Snippets of Rebecca's evening...

Rebecca's got orange dust under her nails again.

Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.

The lycée isn't Hogwarts, but it does have its own Hagrid.

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