Entry tags:
"I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!"
Can you believe that I've never photographed one of the oldest cemeteries in town, even though it's within bike-riding distance? Yeah, I couldn't believe it either, so today I finally hopped on my bike and corrected that. The cemetery is very well-kept for its age, and I was able to do some research for Find a Grave and even fulfill some photo requests. And I'm almost never able to fulfill photo requests, but this cemetery was relatively small and had a fairly long list of requests.
While I was wondering around photographing the graves, I got a call from one of my aunts, saying that Grandma's had bad pain in her legs and trouble walking recently. She and my other aunt arranged for a doctor to visit her tomorrow, but in the meantime, they wanted me to ask my mom, a nurse, if she would go by Grandma's sometime today and check on her. (They can't call her themselves because my mom refuses to speak to her sole surviving parent or any of her siblings directly and has for a few years now. I'm pretty damn sick of being their go-between.) So I called my mom and left a voicemail relaying this, but I'm willing to bet any amount of money that she won't go. It makes me kinda sick. I'm tempted to ask mom how she would like it if she were old, in pain, and I refused to see her. I'm not the best daughter (oh no, far from it!) but I've done things for my mom when she was feeling bad -- one of them directly after she yelled at me for no real reason. Ugh. On the other hand, I'm tempted to say nothing because I know I can't change her behavior. Cue the crankly old grandfather from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: "No one can!"
It all got me so depresesd that I laid down on the grass in the cemetery, sang the Mi Sheberach, and stared at the clouds until I felt like I was falling. I haven't done that since I was a kid.
( Tonight's episode of NCIS also felt me feeling blah. Essay-length notes on 9x08 "Engaged: Part 1." )
It's been overcast all day, but it didn't start raining until just now. Some scary thunder and lightning outside my window.
While I was wondering around photographing the graves, I got a call from one of my aunts, saying that Grandma's had bad pain in her legs and trouble walking recently. She and my other aunt arranged for a doctor to visit her tomorrow, but in the meantime, they wanted me to ask my mom, a nurse, if she would go by Grandma's sometime today and check on her. (They can't call her themselves because my mom refuses to speak to her sole surviving parent or any of her siblings directly and has for a few years now. I'm pretty damn sick of being their go-between.) So I called my mom and left a voicemail relaying this, but I'm willing to bet any amount of money that she won't go. It makes me kinda sick. I'm tempted to ask mom how she would like it if she were old, in pain, and I refused to see her. I'm not the best daughter (oh no, far from it!) but I've done things for my mom when she was feeling bad -- one of them directly after she yelled at me for no real reason. Ugh. On the other hand, I'm tempted to say nothing because I know I can't change her behavior. Cue the crankly old grandfather from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: "No one can!"
It all got me so depresesd that I laid down on the grass in the cemetery, sang the Mi Sheberach, and stared at the clouds until I felt like I was falling. I haven't done that since I was a kid.
( Tonight's episode of NCIS also felt me feeling blah. Essay-length notes on 9x08 "Engaged: Part 1." )
It's been overcast all day, but it didn't start raining until just now. Some scary thunder and lightning outside my window.