"I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!"

[rebecca_in_blue]

Can you believe that I've never photographed one of the oldest cemeteries in town, even though it's within bike-riding distance? Yeah, I couldn't believe it either, so today I finally hopped on my bike and corrected that. The cemetery is very well-kept for its age, and I was able to do some research for Find a Grave and even fulfill some photo requests. And I'm almost never able to fulfill photo requests, but this cemetery was relatively small and had a fairly long list of requests.

While I was wondering around photographing the graves, I got a call from one of my aunts, saying that Grandma's had bad pain in her legs and trouble walking recently. She and my other aunt arranged for a doctor to visit her tomorrow, but in the meantime, they wanted me to ask my mom, a nurse, if she would go by Grandma's sometime today and check on her. (They can't call her themselves because my mom refuses to speak to her sole surviving parent or any of her siblings directly and has for a few years now. I'm pretty damn sick of being their go-between.) So I called my mom and left a voicemail relaying this, but I'm willing to bet any amount of money that she won't go. It makes me kinda sick. I'm tempted to ask mom how she would like it if she were old, in pain, and I refused to see her. I'm not the best daughter (oh no, far from it!) but I've done things for my mom when she was feeling bad -- one of them directly after she yelled at me for no real reason. Ugh. On the other hand, I'm tempted to say nothing because I know I can't change her behavior. Cue the crankly old grandfather from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: "No one can!"

It all got me so depresesd that I laid down on the grass in the cemetery, sang the Mi Sheberach, and stared at the clouds until I felt like I was falling. I haven't done that since I was a kid.

Essay-length notes on episode 9x08 Engaged: Part 1
(Featuring SecNav Jarvis, last seen in Safe Harbor; Shannon Gibbs, Rule 51; and young Gibbs, Mother's Day.)

Writer: Gina Lucita Monreal

Gibbs dreaming about Shannon was an interesting way to open the episode. I wonder how often Gibbs has dreams like this. Are they regular things, or did Diane's comments about Shannon in Devil's Triangle last week get Gibbs thinking about her more than usual? Either way, it showed us a side of Gibbs that we rarely see.

I wasn't sure what to make of Shannon's, "How are you going to get what you need if you don't let me go?" The team tried to find a woman for Gibbs in Safe Harbor, and we met one of his ex-wives in Devil's Triangle. I hope they're not setting Gibbs up for a new love interest, and I really hope it isn't Chaplain Burke. Gibbs has had enough short-lived relationships (three ex-wives, Jenny, Hollis Mann, Mallison Hartless) and any new love interest won't last because status quo is God, and this show will do anything to avoid permanent changes.

I'd argue that Shannon's question meant that if Gibbs spends the rest of his mourning the family he lost, he'll never be able to appreciate the people he does have. But Gibbs obviously does appreciate his team (heck, in Safe Harbor, he came right out and said that they're like kids to him) so this interpretation doesn't really seem to work. This scene also confirmed what we suspected in Enemy on the Hill: Gibbs sleeps on his couch. I wonder when this started? Oh, and Shannon called him Gibbs! Interesting, because she's called him Jethro in other flashbacks.

You can hate me for saying this, but while I have no problem being patriotic, this episode absolutely rammed it down your throat!

I've also got nothing against chaplains, but Chaplain Burke rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go. She seemed very smarmy and know-it-all -- for example, when she told Tony, "Sincerity works sometimes, DiNozzo. You should try it," and especially when she elbowed in on tagging along with Gibbs, called him a "gray-haired grizzly bear," and insisted that she could help him when she didn't really help at all! Ugh! I hope we won't see her again past Engaged: Part 2.

Some people were pissed at Ziva and McGee for spying on Tony's bucket list, but it didn't bother me because really, how many times has Tony spied on them or snooped around in their stuff? (Remember when he read Ziva's e-mails back in Royals and Loyals?) As for the list itself, a few items struck me as too shallow (Date a Bond girl) but for the most part, I think the list had a good mix of fun stuff (Ride in a motorcycle ball of death), serious stuff (Tell Dad it's okay), and stuff that we all secretly want to do (Develop a catch phrase). I'm thankful that the writers resisted the temptation to put something Tiva-related on the list.

Also on the list: "Write letter to Roger Ebert re: his reviews of Full Metal Jacket and Benji the Hunted." I almost died when I saw this in the screencaps! Sara is a hard-core fan of old Siskel & Ebert reviews, so I know the whole story behind this. Poor Ebert will probably never hear the end of it! And "Experience a Wonder of the World (besides Gibbs)." Add this to Tony calling Gibbs a "wild, untamed savannah" in Devil's Triangle just last week, and he has one serious man-crush on his boss. I can hear the Tony/Gibbs shippers squeeing now.

"You gonna stay here and work all night?" The show seems to be highlighting Gibbs's insane work ethic a lot lately. I wonder if this is going anywhere. Maybe he's working more to try to get away from those dreams about Shannon?

I didn't like Ziva head-smacking Tony, and it highlighted something that's been bugging me for a while: Virtually all of the head-smacks are directed at Tony now. I can't even remember the last time Gibbs head-smacked anyone besides Tony, which is sad because back in the old days, he used to be so much more creative with his head-smacking (even doing it to himself!).

In fact, much of the Tony/Ziva interaction bothered me. They were so short with each other, like the way Tony snippily corrected Ziva's "wheels churning," and Ziva's equally-snippy, "Number seven, actually." It's sad, because just last week in Devil's Triangle, they were getting along and joking with each other so well. I wish their interaction wasn't so up-and-down.

I have to admit, though, that while I had my issues with this episode, it got better as it went on, and that ending definitely made me excited for Engaged: Part 2 next week!

It's been overcast all day, but it didn't start raining until just now. Some scary thunder and lightning outside my window.