rebecca_in_blue (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rebecca_in_blue) wrote2012-03-14 07:19 pm
rebecca_in_blue) wrote2012-03-14 07:19 pm
The dog up and died. After 20 years, he still grieves.
Due to worsening incontinence, skin issues, loss of hearing and vision, mobility and respiratory problems, and other effects of very old-age, I have made the absolutely heart-wrenching decision to euthanize my sweet 15-year-old dog, Sable.
My first picture of us. Sable had been home for less than a month.
This wasn't a decision that I made lightly. I have been thinking (and crying) over it for some time now. I LOVE this dog. I have loved him for over fifteen years, more than half my life. Anyone didn't would've had him euthanized already. My mom has wanted to do it since 2006. I knew that it would be hard to go through with, and I hoped that if I kept putting it off, Sable would die naturally and I would be spared from making this horrible decision. Alas.
"Sit still for the camera? I think I'd rather lick your ear!"
I know this doesn't even register on the scale of human suffering in this world, but on Rebecca's personal scale, it is very, very hard, especially so soon after losing Grandma. Even though I've made this decision, told others about it, and made the necessary arrangements, I know that it will all be easier said than done. I just hope that I can go through with it without falling apart completely.
I love the wary expression on Sable's face here.
Lately I haven't had much of an appetite, I've been biting my nails until they bled (a habit I thought I had kicked), and I've had trouble sleeping because I lay awake listening to Sable breathe and thinking about how much I'm going to miss that sound. Last night, I had a terrible dream where I was walking Sable and we were both attacked and ripped apart by big, mean Rottweilers. It's anyone's guess as to how I'm not dehydrated yet.
He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him traveled about.
The dog up and died, he up and died. After 20 years, he still grieves.
See a pattern? I always have my arms around him. I love this dog.
My first picture of us. Sable had been home for less than a month.
This wasn't a decision that I made lightly. I have been thinking (and crying) over it for some time now. I LOVE this dog. I have loved him for over fifteen years, more than half my life. Anyone didn't would've had him euthanized already. My mom has wanted to do it since 2006. I knew that it would be hard to go through with, and I hoped that if I kept putting it off, Sable would die naturally and I would be spared from making this horrible decision. Alas.
"Sit still for the camera? I think I'd rather lick your ear!"
I know this doesn't even register on the scale of human suffering in this world, but on Rebecca's personal scale, it is very, very hard, especially so soon after losing Grandma. Even though I've made this decision, told others about it, and made the necessary arrangements, I know that it will all be easier said than done. I just hope that I can go through with it without falling apart completely.
I love the wary expression on Sable's face here.
Lately I haven't had much of an appetite, I've been biting my nails until they bled (a habit I thought I had kicked), and I've had trouble sleeping because I lay awake listening to Sable breathe and thinking about how much I'm going to miss that sound. Last night, I had a terrible dream where I was walking Sable and we were both attacked and ripped apart by big, mean Rottweilers. It's anyone's guess as to how I'm not dehydrated yet.
He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him traveled about.
The dog up and died, he up and died. After 20 years, he still grieves.
See a pattern? I always have my arms around him. I love this dog.