The weather here is so nice right now. Sable likes to just sit on the grass in the sun. Here's are a few things I've done so far this week:
~ Wrote a fanfiction for a TV show that I don't even watch. I've seen some clips of it, but never a full episode. I'm still on the first line of the author summary on profile page, but I'm getting close to breaking into that second line.
~ Attended my first annual congregational meeting at my temple. All I ever do is just show up there on Friday nights and holidays, so I never realized how much hard work goes into running and maintaining the place, planning events and onegs, etc. I think I'll make my own donation to the temple in the form of a dozen hand soap dispensers for the women's restroom. We elected a new president at the meeting, and our old president got a dreidel desk ornament as a parting gift. This was the exchange when he was presented with it:
Sassy Old Jewish Lady #1: "Now he can play with his little dreidel all day long!"
Sassy Old Jewish Lady #2: "I'm not touching that one! I'm not touching it with a ten-foot pole!"
Also, last week, I finally called out one of my coworkers for complaining more than anyone else on the planet. I used to be friends with this guy, but then he started complaining all the time about everything -- no exaggeration. For example, the lunch break is always the same amount of time, but on different days, he'll whine about it's either too long or too short. So I finally asked him if I had a sign on my face telling him to describe his every woe in the world to me, and if I didn't, why did he constantly do so? It might sound kinda harsh, but he has only added it to his unending list of things to complain about. "I can't believe Rebecca said that to me." Ugh! Some people.
On the art calendar, I'm looking at La mer calme (The Calm Sea), an 1896 oil painting by Gustave Courbet.
The weather here is so nice right now. Sable likes to just sit on the grass in the sun. Here's are a few things I've done so far this week:
We had a Simchat Torah service on Friday evening, and it was actually pretty fun. We took all three Torah scrolls out of the ark and danced around the sanctuary with them, then very carefully unwound the entire Torah scroll and rolled it back up to Bereishit (בְּרֵאשִׁית - Hebrew for "in beginning," the first word of the Torah). The inner parchment of the Torah scroll isn't supposed to be touched by human hands, but we had a few kids helping us unroll it and were just happy that it didn't get ripped or dropped.
Ironically, I didn't find a copy of Choosing a Jewish Life (a book about converting) until after I officially converted, but I think it'll still be relevant. I was browsing at the library one day and just came across it. I asked for it for my birthday last year, but Sara got me Living a Jewish Life instead. I also recently checked out the 2011 Jane Eyre, and it was much better than I'd expected. I actually watched the whole film this time, not just the child actress scenes.
Hallelujah, I finally have a working phone again, and we're finally through with inventory at work! Inventory isn't too bad, just boring and long. Tonight I didn't get home until after eleven - blegh! The bad news is that with inventory over, back-to-school is right around the corner. It's very depressing, because I didn't think I'd be at this job for yet another back-to-school season, but here I am.
I made the mistake of watching our copy of The Others recently. I really admire that movie for well-executed it is, and how it's still so compelling even when you know how it ends. So many horror movies seem to think that blood + gore = scary, but The Others takes a much more civilized, sophisticated approach, and it creeps me out to no end. Even though I know exactly what happens, it still scares the bejeesus out of me every time. Now I'm all jumpy whenever I take Sable for a walk at night.
You can tell summer's here by Rebecca's hands. I have a little nick on one finger, left by a splinter I got while helping Grandma move into her new house. I have a blister on one hand from swinging in the park with Josh. And I have a mosquito bite on my palm that refuses to stop itching! I only take Sable on short walks now, because it's so hot, but I somehow manage to get several mosquito bites fast.
I had a dream the other night that a Messianic Jew was trying to convert me, and I woke up pissed off to no end. I should've told him to reevaluate if he was really Jewish, as Judaism - doesn't - prosletyze!
And guess what it's time for again? That's right:
72 DAYS LEFT until the Season 9 premiere of NCIS!
A few tidbits of my week so far:
~ One of my managers in the habit of telling me all about his farm, lawn, goats, etc., even though I couldn't care less. One day he was showing me the callouses on his hands and said, "Look at my hands, Rebecca. See, I have a working man's hands." I said, "Well, I think that working man wants his hands back." He glared at me for a minute, then laughed.
~ So, Osama bin Laden is finally dead. I'm just glad that he wasn't killed under the Bush Administration; I can only imagine how crudley Shrub would've celebrated. Our Rabbi directed us to a line from the Passover liturgy: when the Israelites saw the Egyptians drowning in the sea, they started to celebrate, but G-d scolded them, "How can you celebrate when my creatures are dying?"
~ Shabbat services at the temple tonight were really lovely. The Rabbi was in town, there was music, and for some reason, Maggie (she's five or six, one of the few kids in our congregation) left her seat next to her mom and spent the entire service right next to me. I'm not someone who's ever been good with kids, and at first, I was tempted to ask her what the hell she was doing. But then she kept leaning against me, holding my hand, and at one point, laid down on the pew and put her head in my lap. I felt like the grouchy old man who gets his heart melted in every Shirley Temple movie.
( The Baker House and Downtown Little Rock )
I still have not bought Mom a gift for Mother's Day, and I'm not sure what to get her. Hm.
I kinda broke a shelfing unit at work today. I turned into a blithering idiot for a few seconds, tried to stand on it, and it collapsed from under me. (I caught myself on my arm, and now it's sore as hell.) So far no one has noticed, but I've been walking on eggshells waiting for someone to. Don't ask me what I was thinking, because I don't know. I'm so glad I only have one day left to work before Christmas.
I foolishly told some of my co-workers I would bring my bacon & eggs candy, so now I can't back out (and I should be making them right now!). I'm making them with Reese's Pieces instead of M&M's this year. Not sure how they'll taste, but M&M's were a problem because I only used one of five colors and always ended up with a mountain of leftover M&M's that I didn't really want. With Reese's Pieces, I use one out of only three colors, and there are none leftover because Sara and I could eat those things by the bucketful.
One year when I was a kid, I got a beautiful, watercolor-illustrated double edition of Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner for Christmas. I loved Pooh as a kid. Okay, and I still do. I still have that book, and the illustrations are vintage, non-Disney Pooh. Anyway, I reading through it right after I opened it, when Mom flipped to the inside jacket and pointed to the price. I know Sara says I never let go of anything, but seriously, this irks me now. What kind of immature behavior was that? (Maybe this is where Adam gets his bad gift-giving habits? He already told me this year that my gift was "real cheap.") I still have books Dad gave me where he cut off the corner of the inside jacket, so I couldn't even see the price. He was big on never letting you know how much he'd spent on your gift, much less pointing it out to you. The moral of this story, children, is that there's an art to giving and receiving gifts. Let's all try to remember that and be gracious this year, mmkay?
In Catholicism, St. Anthony is the patron saint of lost items. St. Jude, however, is the patron saint of lost causes, which is fitting because Jude can take a sad song and make it better. (Proof that I know as much about about religilous stuff as certain people who keep bringing up that time I asked my theology teacher what the "Book of P-Salms" and the "Trinity" were. I can't help it if I was raised heathen.) But who's the patron saint of defrocking child-molesting priests instead of transferring them to a different parish, Pope Benedict?
Cool weather has finally arrived! I was actually able to sleep with my window open last night, which almost made me do a happy little dance, and when I walked Sable this afternoon, the day was so beautiful that neither of us wanted to come back inside. Football season has arrived too, and I am still so grateful that we don't live with Mom anymore. The traffic, noise, and (worst of all) stadium lights are not things we miss.
I visited the cemetery yesterday to take some pictures for Find-a-Grave and found a very sad-looking dog. You could see her ribs. I talked to her for a long time, but she absolutely would not let me get near her. Whatever she was hiding from, at least she had the sense to go to the cemetery, which was huge, totally deserted of people, and very shady and cool.
We had a Code Adam at work today, for the first time in the nearly two years that I've worked there! A really young girl (about three) wandered off and her absent-minded dad didn't notice right away. I can only imagine what would've happened if Boss Man had been there ("We have a Code Adam, people! This is when heroes are made! And we're going to find that child if we have to go to the ends of the earth!") but New Manager was on-duty, and he didn't know exactly how to handle the situation. Stockers were searching the restrooms, the receiving docks, behind the shelves, etc. until Rebecca finally thought to look outside and found Missing Kid chilling in the parking lot with an older lady who'd called the police and was trying to get the kid to tell her her name. She had some words for that dad. But all's well that ends well, I guess.
Scenes from an office supply store breakroom...
EJ: I'm gonna have the most awesome time this weekend, Rebecca.
Me: No, I'm gonna have the most awesome time, EJ.
EJ: Oh, yeah? What're you doing?
Me: You first.
EJ: Well, I'm going camping! With lesbians! And there's gonna be alcohol!
Me: Well, I'm going canoeing! With Mormons! And there's gonna be... uh... Kool-Aid!
Sally: Really? I didn't think we had any Mormons down here. Aren't they all up in Utah?
Kim was a little late getting back from lunch today, so Sally asked me to stay for a few minutes extra. Which I was fine with. Then a few minutes turned into a freaking half-hour because my last customer of the day was very blatantly trying to rip us off for $200. I realized what was up right away (it's an old trick at our store, and not even a very good one -- like, if you're going to try to rip someone off, couldn't you at least not be sloppy about it?) but it was still very sucky to deal with. After I finally got out of there, the first song I heard when I turned on the ignition in my truck was The Cure's "Friday I'm in Love!" What better sign of a fabulous weekend?
My aunt invited me to go canoeing last Saturday, when I was at her house for Adam's birthday, but I haven't posted about it before now because I was sure that if I did, something would happen to throw a wrench in the plans. (I'm still not entirely sure something won't.) I'm so excited!
Sable has gotten quite tepid towards strangers in his old age. (Sara likes to say, "Death? Is that you?" in her Sable voice whenever he sees someone coming.) But he still has a bloodlust for this one specific mailman, who remembers him from when we lived at Mom's house. We saw him today on our walk, and Sable starting lunging on his leash and barking, and the mailman said, "One day that dog's gonna like me." Lately Sable's been burying and reburying this piece of rawhide he found in the parking lot. He digs a hole with his paws, then pushes the dirt back in with his head and pats it down with his face -- it's hilarious to watch.
Now to go get some shut-eye. My uncle wants us to leave for the river at eight tomorrow morning.
I was off yesterday and had three very simple goals: go grocery shopping, do my laundry, and visit Grandma. But I accomplished only the first one. So when I got off work today, I made three more goals: go bike riding, do my laundry, and visit Grandma. But I accomplished only the second one. (The weather was so nice, and I took Sable on a long walk -- about a half-hour -- and fell asleep very suddenly after we got home.) I'll have to visit Grandma tomorrow, which means it will have taken me three days to accomplish the three very simple goals that I set on Wednesday. I know it's the fault of
The newest song on my iPod (or at least the newest one that I'll admit to*) is a Spanish-language song called "De Que Vas." This is very unusual for me, because I've never been interested in non-French foreign anything. I found translated lyrics, so I have a rough idea of what's being sung, but I don't really care about the lyrics, just the hella catchy melody.
* Just kidding. I'm not ashamed of my taste in music. Other recent additions to my iPod include I'm Still Standing, Elton John; I Would Die for You, Prince; Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen; Fearless, Taylor Swift; and Children of the Revolution, U2.
I have a growing suspicion that my most annoying co-worker is in fact a bag of flour masquerading as a human. I am tempted to stab him with the broom one day to see if he explodes in a cloud of white. I recently told this idea to some other front-end folks and found out that they have their own takes on Flour Bag Man. Different co-workers told me that he reminded them of 1) a mole/gopher; 2) the Michelin tire man; 3) the Pillsbury Dough Boy; and 4) the guy from Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
Today I got into a discussion with a customer about whether it was acceptable to axe instead of ask. I said that it was, because lots of people say axe instead of ask without even noticing, and if you do notice, you're probably some hoity-toity yankee. He kept insisting that if you axe someone, you must be an axe-murderer.
Sara got a TV survey from Neilsen in the mail -- accompanied by thirty dollars cash. She gave me ten of it, and I'm planning to have dinner from Buffalo Wild Wings sometime this week. It was so weird, because I didn't think anybody sent cash in the mail anymore.
I burned a CD of lullabies a few years ago, and although I still really love it, I want some new music to listen to before bed. Sara bought me a little radio/CD-player for Christmas, and I love listening to music before I go to sleep. I can't really do that with my iPod speaker because most of the songs on that make me want to go for a bike ride, not fall alseep. You have to be pretty selective with your night music if you don't want to lie awake for hours. So I'm working on a playlist for a new lullabies CD -- although most of the songs on this one aren't lullabies exactly.
( The playlist. I could go on (and on and on) about how much I love each one of these songs. Some are sweet, some sad, some cheesy, but all of them are so incredibly mellow and soothing. )
That is a very big deal for me, and a very good sign. Maybe all that barfing I did last month was just a phase. Man, I hope.
Earlier this week I had a very vivid, scary dream. I'm at home, sitting at the computer and looking up stuff on child actresses, when Sara comes home from work and says, "Did you hear the news? Sarah Palin is president!" We turn on the TV and there's Palin in the Oval Office. Sara says that some people didn't like what Obama was doing, so he got thrown out of office, and Palin was sworn in. What was weird was that I was the only one who thought it was weird. I kept saying that US presidents couldn't just be fired for no good reason, and everybody else kept telling me that yes they could. I was so relieved when I woke up and Obama was still president.
I finally bought one of the reusable tote bags we sell in the store. I went shopping with it yesterday, fit nearly $20 worth of groceries in it, and didn't use one plastic bag. Working retail has really made me realize how quickly we go through those things. I try to recycle them, but even I'm incredibly wasteful.
Yesterday at work was very stressy. We were out one stocker, I was training new people, we were still in mystery shop mode, and a clever bunch of jackholes ripped us off about $2300 worth of toner. I'm off this week, but I have to go in tomorrow morning for a meeting about our last mystery shop score. (We got a 44... out of 100.) And I need to give Sable a bath tomorrow. I meant to do it this morning, but I made a YouTube video instead.
There is more to say, but I will say it later.
Sable had me worried last week. He got so slow and lethargic, even more so than usual, and he almost stopped wanting to go on walks. But in the last few days I gave him a bath (he needed one), washed his beds, and bought him a box of the moist dog food with gravy that he likes. He seems to have perked back up now. As much as he hates having a bath, he obviously feels better when he's clean.
We hired a new girl at work recently, and she is annoying to no end. She reminds me a lot of Daisy Wick, the super annoying character they hired and fired on Bones (I can't believe I'm referencing that show! I hate that show! Damn you, Sara!) in that both talk constantly. At length. Whether you want them to or not. Last week I got to hear all about her family drama. The week before that, the topic was her yeast infection. I am not kidding. Seriously, what kind of person talks about that kind of thing to co-workers she hardly knows? And because she's new, she's still making some mistakes, and I don't know how to correct her without coming off as a bitch. So I just come off as a bitch in hopes that it will deter her from talking to me all the time. It doesn't.
Sara and I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button last night. It wasn't what I had expected, but it was good. A lot of it was set and filmed in New Orleans, and I think it was one of those rare movies about the South that isn't incredibly inaccurate and/or offensive. Seriously, I can count movies like that on one hand. Next I want to rent Doubt, which I've heard is really good. And I finally checked out Abigail Breslin's movie Kit Kittredge from the library, but I haven't watched it yet.
The TV at work is currently playing trailers for some of the movies we sell in the store. In order, it's: Lawrence of Arabia, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, Rent, Ghost Rider, The Secret of Roan Inish, The Dark Crystal, Les Miserables, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Underword, Mall Cop, and Seven Pounds. (Yes, I spend way too much time watching this. Can you tell?) It's made me really want to see Lawrence of Arabia. Most of the others I've either seen already or don't want to see. Anyone have a copy of that movie?
I finally filed my taxes on April 14. I'm getting back a little over two hundred dollars this year. Not much, but it was a great opportunity to quote one of my favorite movie lines: "You took my two hundred dollars! I want my two hundred dollars!" A la Tatum O'Neal in Paper Moon. Here's the scene in all its glory for those of you who've never seen it:
I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was at work when into the store walked Paul Newman, Natalie Wood, and Bette Davis. I remember thinking, in the dream, "Don't start singing Bette Davis Eyes, don't start singing Bette Davis Eyes." But I did! I even followed them out into the parking lot and kept singing it as they were leaving, and Bette Davis got mad at me. Heh.
I have a flip-flop tan on my feet.
Our store did the big, dreaded, once-a-year inventory Saturday night. After all the horror stories I'd heard from people who did inventory last year ("We won't be out till midnight!"), we finished at 9:30. We hired an outside inventory crew to do the actual counting and stuff, while our employees... stood around and watched them count. Apparently there's some rule that they can't count the merchandise without someone watching them. It easily was the most mind-numbingly boring thing I've ever done at this job. I almost fell asleep standing up. At least there was lots of food in the break room: pizza, cookies, sodas, and a vat of spaghetti the size of a small bathtub. I am not kidding.
Sometimes it boggles my mind how our little apartment can turn into such a big mess. Our computer table, for example. I keep finding these little balls of dust (or balls of something) on it and can't figure out where they're coming from. And every few days our countertops are covered in so much salt and pepper that it's like someone stood over them and just shook the salt and pepper out for five minutes. How does that keep happening? Oh, well. I just gave the place a pretty thorough cleaning, and now I'm exhausted.
Sable has been farting all night! It's cold outside (Yes, cold outside. In Louisiana. In April. The hell!) but I'm very tempted to open a window to let the stink air out. That dog.
Something horrible happened yesterday. I came home from work on my lunch break to find that Sable had a big patch of bloody, matted-down hair on his side. He must have scratched himself until he bled. It was horrible because I hate the sight of blood, especially when it's coming out of my puppy. Sara and I are going to have to hold him down and trim his nails, because he still won't let me near him with the nail-trimmer.
I was off from work today, so I gave Sable a bath, washed his beds, rode my bike, cleaned the apartment, and visited at Grandma's house. Her house was crazy-busy because Jacob and his family are in town from Alabama and Aunt Connie and Eva were over too. I helped Grandma shell the shrimp.
Supposedly some guy who had applied for a job at work had a job interview yesterday morning at 9:30. When I got in that afternoon, nice mananger told me that he was there at 7:30, when the store opened, walked to the break room of his own accord, and fell asleep on the couch. Head manager threw him out. I found it hilarious because it's the sort of crap that never happens where I work. Seriously, almost everyone I know has stories about outrageously incompetent coworkers, but I hardly ever do.
Sally: "We are going to see some very strange things as we move forward."
We kept the pilot light in our heater on all winter (my uncle had to show me how to light it three times before I finally got the hang of it), and a few days ago, I blew it out, thinking the cold weather was over for good. Of course that very night, the temperature suddenly dropped, and the next morning our apartment was chilly and I had to turn the pilot light back on. Anyway...
Shit That Went Well Today:
I was the employee of the month for February, which means I got a bonus of $75 in my paycheck today! I'm working on a list of things to spend it on, so I won't end up blowing it on boring stuff. I've also gotten very good at getting sign-ups. On Tuesday I set a new personal best with eleven, and today I got seven -- both are a lot, since we're supposed to make an overall daily total of ten. It only slightly bust my bubble when my manager told me that yesterday I'd made a big (but honest) mistake that cost us a lot of time and money. She was nice about it, and nobody made a big deal over it, but it still made me feel pretty crappy.
Grandma made spaghetti today, so I went to her house on my lunch break. She also had a devil's food cake hot out of the oven, but it wasn't until I got home from work tonight that I found out why she had made it (Sara asked her later). Grandma: "It's your dad's birthday today." I still don't know whether to find that funny or crazy or sad. It's certainly a very Grandma thing to do. She's the only one who would bake a birthday cake for a man who's been dead +4 years. And then just for overkill, she gave me a candy bar, just like she's done every year on Dad's birthday and death day (or, as the people at Find-a-Grave ridiculously call it, "angel day"). Which is nice, I guess, but how long is she going to keep that up? Until she dies? Until old-age senility sinks in and she forgets who Dad was? We'll see.
A big Mardi Gras parade rolled right by where I work this evening. It was noisy, but at least we didn't get any drunk people wandering in and acting crazy, which is what my manager said happened last year. It was a geeky, comforting feeling to be inside working and straightening things, while the revelry carried on right outside. It's weird that when I was a kid, I looked forward to Mardi Gras, but now, it's lost most of its appeal to me. They don't throw nearly as much candy at parades now, and after years of keeping a basketful of Mardi Gras beads in my closet, I realize what pointless, worthless things they really are.
And HOORAY for me being OFF all this weekend! Tomorrow I'm attending a program at the geneology library that I've been looking forward to, and Sunday is the Oscars!
I was off on Tuesday, but rather than sleep in, I woke up early to attend a local history program at the geneology library. With most events at that library, I'm the youngest person in the room by a huge margin. But on Tuesday morning there was actually one other person my age, a girl I used to be friends with in middle and elementary schools but hadn't seen in a long time. So that was a little weird. The presentation was very interesting. I learned a good deal about the history of my city, and the power point presentations and people taking notes made me feel like I was back in school, in a good way. The librarian who gave the lecture isn't from the United States, and I went crazy trying to place her accent -- sometimes it sounded French, sometimes it didn't -- until she happened to mention that she was from Belgium.
One of my co-workers has a lot of pirated DVDs, and sometimes he brings them to work and plays them on the TV in the break room. The weird thing is that I can only catch them during my breaks, and so far I've seen about ten minutes each of Gran Torino, Benjamin Button, and Taken. Gran Torino looked really bad. I imagine that if some really old mean bulldog could talk, it would have Clint Eastwood's voice. Benjamin Button made me want to see more (I got to see the scenes with Elle Fanning).
Things I Will Never Like: The dogs that live next-door to my grandma's house. My dad used to call them the "concentration camp guard dogs," which is exactly what they are. And I'm a dog person, so you know they have to really be monsters for me to hate them. Owning dogs that are very big, very vicious, and keeping them behind one puny chain-link fence in a residential neighborhood should be against the law. It's only a matter of time before the beasts break through that fence and kill us all.
I have set a goal for myself for tomorrow.
My eye seems to be slowly getting better. It helps that I'm wearing my glasses now, instead of my contacts. Thank goodness I finally fixed and cleaned my glasses to the point that I can wear them in public again. (They're a rather old pair, and I've stepped on them more times than I'll admit.) My eye is still sore and red, but it wasn't as bad today as it was yesterday. It was really painful then.
I watched Obama's inauguration on Tuesday! Of course, who didn't? Every channel seemed to be broadcasting it, so I doubt if there was anything else to watch. We even had it playing on the TV at our store, and usually we only play our advertisements on that. Watching the his inauguration while I worked made my job feel a lot more exhilrrating. I kept hoping the announcers at the ceremony would say his middle name, but they stuck with Barack H. I would flaunt a name like his, for the sole reason that it's totally unique. I mean, there have been Johns, Georges, and Williams, but there has never been a president named Barack Hussein Obama. But of course it's understandable why he doesn't want to use it.
Oh, and for those of you who didn't see it, the inauguration included a speech by Rev. Joseph Lowery, who ended with this little gem:
We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back,
where brown can stick around,
when yellow will be mellow,
when the red man can get ahead, man,
and when white will embrace what is right.
I laughed hysterically the first time I heard this. (As did many of the 2.5 million people there on the National Mall, including Obama himself. I saw the video.) And Clinton had Maya Angelou read at his inauguration! Her poetry can hardly compare to lines like "yellow will be mellow"! Apparently the lines are paraphrased from a Civil Rights chant, which makes them a little better. My first guess was that they must have been written by 7-year-old Sasha Obama.
I'm worried about the economy. Circuit City is closing all their stores in North America. They're one of our store's competitors, and our chain closed about 200 of its stores a few months ago.
I used part of my Christmas money to buy myself a flash drive. (But ironically, I didn't buy it at my own store, where we have an entire endcap of flash drives in all colors and styles.) I don't know why I didn't get one sooner, because it is so hella convenient.
We just hired two new people at work, and that means my hours are getting cut back. I'm worried about my money (especially after my foodstamps expire), so I'll have to start looking for temporary work I could do on my days off. It's frustrating, because otherwise I like my job, except for one manager who I'm certain has some sort of personal vendetta against me. I still have four other managers that I like, so it isn't that bad, but I'm going to try to arrive earlier, smile and talk more (I'm really quiet at work) in an effort to impress him. I guess that's one of my new year resolutions.
I have a few other resolutions for 2009, but I probably won't be posting them here. Last year I made so many resolutions and followed through on so few of them that it was embarrassing. But yesterday I followed through on something that I had almost backed out of doing, so I'm proud of myself for that.
Sometimes I think my grandma is getting crazier with age. Yesterday she said she wanted the recipe to my pecan pie muffins and said, I quote, "Do you have any paper at your apartment? Do you need me to give you some paper to write it down on?" And no one who knows my grandma should even be surprised.
Must go do laundry now.