rebecca_in_blue: (red riding hood)
I haven't blogged in a while because I've been so busy working. We did inventory over the weekend, and the only good thing I can say about that is we all got free pizza and cookies. I had to close on Saturday night and come in early on Sunday morning to do recounts behind the inventory crew. Ugh! I even climbed up into topstock, which I'd never done before. It was kinda cool and scary (topstock is high and the ladder is wobbly) but man, were my legs sore afterward!

In my spare time, I've been writing fanfiction and doing a little genealogy research. I finally added Grandma's death date to my family trees for her and Grandpa Charlie's families -- which was very depressing. I also added some relatives to Find a Grave and updated pages for some who were already on the site.


It's been pouring down rain here this week. We had such a heavy thunderstorm a few days ago that our power went out for a little while, and the thunder claps were perfectly timed on Friday evening, when we were reading a line from our siddur at services, "At Mount Sinai, amid peals of thunder..." Sassy Jewish Grandfather #2 was the lay leader and I was so proud of him. One lady in our congregation brought latkes for all of us to eat afterwards, and we ran out to our cars in groups huddled under shared umbrellas. I love lying in my bed with Tovah, listening to her purr and the rain fall. It's the coziest feeling in the world.

In other news, I finally did something I've been thinking about (As an aside, why does Rebecca have to think about things for ages before she does them? Is anyone else like this?) and applied with Big Brothers Big Sisters. I will post more about that later, since it deserves its own post. I'm going to meet my new little sister ... tomorrow! Keep your fingers crossed for me! I'll admit, I'm kinda nervous about it; I figure it will be bumpy at first, then rewarding, kinda like teaching Sunday School was.

P.S. CBS just released the premiere date for Season 10 of NCIS! I had expected it to be September 18, based on previous premiere dates, but it's actually going to be September 25. So, let the countdown begin: 76 DAYS UNTIL SEASON 10 OF NCIS!
rebecca_in_blue: (raised eyebrows)
Most of October has been warm as summer, but a few days ago, a cool-almost-cold front came in. (The nights are too cold for Sable. You can imagine the fun Rebecca has dragging him outside in the mornings and evenings.) This is one of the problems with living in the south: you never know what the weather will be like on Halloween. Sometimes it's warm, sometimes cool, and few times cold. When I was a kid, this drove me CRAZY! Imagine trying to plan a Halloween costume when you have no idea what the weather will be like. (Then add constantly wheezing and never having anyone understand you, which young Rebecca also had to deal with.) Now, I haven't worn a Halloween costume in years and kinda miss it.

There's a thorny but otherwise beautiful, big lemon tree right outside my temple. (It was planted by a Hebrew class for Tu Bish'vat many years ago.) It's full of big yellow lemons now, but tragically, they taste piney and bitter, as is the case with just about all homegrown lemons except Grandma's. Can you imagine what torture it is for lemon-loving Rebecca to see all those lemons and know they're no good? It was too much work to transplant Grandma's lemon tree when she moved, so over the weekend, I snuck into the backyard of her old house and picked several lemons off the tree. They are so juicy and delicious! Yum! I will be going back when the rest of them are ripe.

We had a loooong, boring meeting at work yesterday evening. That was NO fun, but I did notice that the lady from corporate had a very Hebrew name and a necklace with a hamsa on it. I have to admit, I was a little excited by this.


98% of candy goes to the youngest 2% in America! Occupy Halloween!
rebecca_in_blue: (bemused shrug)
My first High Holy Days as an official Jew are still rolling on. After the Rosh Hashanah morning services, a very small group of us met at the lake for a tashlich, a Jewish ritual of going to a body of water and throwing bread to the ducks or seagulls. (That's right, the Jews have a name for that.) We couldn't stay for long before a fierce thunderstorm blew in, but Mrs. D had an entire loaf of rye bread -- left over from the corned beef sandwich sale back in March! -- and we threw the whole thing to the gulls. My arm was really sore afterwards because I didn't throw to the gulls but at them. I tried to time my throwing to their flying so they could catch the bread in their mouths.


Maggie throwing bread to the ducks while her mom reads the tashlich blessing. Look at how rough the water was!


Just as we were finishing off the bread, we felt the first splatters of raindrops. I took this photo in a hurry just before jumping on my bike and heading home. Look at how dark those clouds were!

Yesterday evening was the Shabbat Shuva service (and my third consecutive day at the temple), and it was followed by a delicious, free spaghetti dinner! I honestly didn't expect to like it because I was raised on Grandma's spaghetti, the best in the world. This wasn't as good as Grandma's, but it was very good. I would've gotten seconds, but it didn't last long. I sat with Maggie and all four C. boys. The oldest one had a conversation with me in French (his family was in France around the same time I was) and the youngest one said as soon as I sat down, "Hey, you've got silly bands! I've got silly bands too, see? Wanna swap silly bands with me?" He also told me Maggie was his "girlfriend." She got spaghetti sauce all over her face and kinda reminded me of a young me. :)

I almost made four days in a row at the temple, but this morning I was stuck at work and missed Torah study. Normally I wouldn't mind too much, but today I was a bit bummed because, I have to say, Rabbi Z. (our guest for the High Holy Days) is a lot more engaging and interesting than old Rabbi W.

Happy October!
rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)
Thanks to Tropical Storm Lee, it was windy and rainy all day Saturday and Sunday. Ugh. But Athena was in town this weekend for Labor Day, and as soon as I got off work on Sunday, I flew over to her parents' house to see her. She has started addressing me as "my Jewish cousin," which I don't mind, because I figure it's payback for a lifetime of me calling her "you Mormon." I stayed over there really late, and Athena and I went out for frozen yogurt at a new place that's just opened. They have sixteen different flavors of soft-serve, and every single topping you can imagine (sauces, sprinkles, candies, cookies, berries, fruits, nuts, marshmallows, cereals, and even crushed Pop-Tarts). I will be going back.

After Lee blew over, cool weather finally arrived - hallelujah! Today I woke up to divinely sunny blue skies and cool breezes. I figured it was a crime to be inside on a day like this, so I sat down in the shade with a good book (The Girl in the Green Raincoat) and then went bike-riding. I've also been able to start sleeping with my window open again! Hooray!

Only 15 DAYS LEFT until the Season 9 premiere of NCIS!

Happy Labor Day!

rebecca_in_blue: (raised eyebrows)
Yesterday morning, my fast-food run ended with me driving Muse Watson to the auto-repair shop. No, I wasn't in another accident, but Muse had been having some problems that were getting worse. I'm beginning to suspect that car is as cantankerous as the person he's named after! Fortunately, he was fixed and ready to go this afternoon. I was able pay for his repairs, but I sure as heck didn't want to. Ugh. But there are things to be thankful for.

The latest hurricane/tropical storm/depression in the Gulf is sending a little rain and lots of wind our way. I love it! All day today it's been so fresh and cool and breezy outside. Perfect bike-riding weather, and it's neat seeing tree branches, stoplights, people's hair, and just about everything else blowing in the wind.

After shabbat services this evening, I took Eva out for pizza as a belated birthday gift. She turned 14 this week. She's an infinitely friendlier, happier, better-rounded young person than I was at that age. Of course, I was a moody, pissy little bitch at 14, and for many years after, so that's not the most ringing endorsement. But Eva can play beautiful pieces on the piano and has never had a lesson (the title to this entry is from one of the songs she loves to play; she has a thing for '80s power ballads), she studies tae-kwon-do and could probably take down most adults, and she's very active in her church.


When did this little chick - making faces with me, in Grandma's rightful house, on a Christmas Eve of long ago, photographed by Aunt Carolyn - get big enough and strong enough to give me a piggyback ride? (This is a really unflattering photo of me, by the way; thank goodness it isn't bigger.) I still can't believe she's 14 now! And I really can't believe that in just a few days, we'll have the 10-year anniversary of 9/11. It doesn't seem possible that it's been ten years already.

More good news: Athena will be in town this weekend for Labor Day! I have to work, but I'm going to find some time to see her, even if it means I won't get to sleep at all.

And... ONLY 18 DAYS LEFT until Season 9 of NCIS!

Good Shabbos!
rebecca_in_blue: (stiff shoulders)

According to the Google homepage, today is apparently the first day of summer. Edit: I clicked on the Google doodle, and the first day of summer is actually tomorrow, June 21 (the Summer Solstice). Well, way to massively mislead people there, Google. Anyway, this is a bit about how Rebecca spent it.

I overslept this morning, and as soon as I finally woke up, the electricity in our apartment sputtered and died. No air conditioner, no fans, no refrigerator, etc. -- ugh! I called our electricity company but never got through to an actual person, and the power came back on after about thirty minutes anyway. And that might not seem like a long time, but it's been so hot lately that our apartment warmed up fast.

After that, I left to run some errands on my bike. And even though it's been drought-dry for the past two months, of course it suddenly decided to start raining while Rebecca is on her bike. (And I don't mean a little sprinkle but a heavy rain.) I didn't mind getting wet, but fool that I am, I left The Postmistress (a book my mom lent me, and it's not bad, even though it's taking me forever to read) outside and it got soaked! At least it seems to be drying well. It tooker longer than I had thought to get my errands done - my own fault for oversleeping - and I had to really haul butt to get to work on time.

I didn't have my parapluie française (which I bought on a rainy day in Villers-Cotterets) while I was bike riding, but it didn't matter, because when I got home and tried to open it, the handle broke in two. I guess the Louisiana weather was too much for it.

But the day wasn't all bad. Muse Watson used to leak whenever it rained (which I know he didn't do before the crash), but I think stopped him up. One of my more annoying coworkers quit over the weekend, and to celebrate him being gone, my awesome manager bought the entire closing crew candy and soda. When I verified the deposit amount for him and caught a mistake he made, he said something like, "Wow, you Jews really are good at counting money, aren't you?" Haha. He cracks me up.

So, summer has officially arrived, people. (Although here in southern Louisiana, we've been having summertime temperatures since at least April.) Enjoy yours.

rebecca_in_blue: (dozing off)

How is it that January dragged on forever, while February seems to have flown right by? Of course February is the shortest month, but still, it hardly seems possible that next week will already be March! For some reason, this depresses me.

I have felt so run-down and exhausted this week (Sara has a cold and is trying her best to give it to me), but I did do a few things. Mom invited Sara and me to dinner, and even though I'm not a fan when she tries to pretend we're a normal family, free food is free food, so I accepted. Only later did I realize that she had invited us over at seven on Tuesday, which was when the new episode of NCIS came on! I caught the last few minutes (of Kill Screen - my notes are at the bottom) and watched it online later. On Wednesday, I finally met my Jewish grandfather for coffee (even though I don't drink coffee) and introduced him to Sara. He had never met any of my family before, I think because I was worried they'd embarrass me and/or frighten him away.

Our landlord repainted our stairwell this week, and even though we've been leaving the window open, it still reeks of paint. Sable and Graycat are staying away from the stairs until the smell dies down. We're trying to leave the door open too, but it's so windy that it just blows shut again. But I do like that the weather's so warm and windy now. Spring is finally on its way in. If only I could summon up the energy to go bike riding.

I'm looking forward to being off and getting some rest this weekend. Sara and I have a date with Athena to watch the Oscars on Sunday night, and I'm so psyched!

Notes on 8x16 "Kill Screen." It was darn good! )
rebecca_in_blue: (worried eyes)

I've had four job interviews in the last three weeks. No one can say I'm not trying. For the one I had on Tuesday, I practically had to drive through the apocalypse to get there. It was ten in the morning, but the sky was practically as black as night, and the rain was falling so hard it was like my car was under a waterfall.

Right after the thunderstorm was over, an arctic cold front rolled in, and ever since then, it's been freezing! Literally. We've had to leave our water dripping the past two nights, schools and businesses all over the parish are closed, and bridges are frozen over. I had another job interview this morning, and just before I left -- bundled up in my coat and scarf and thermal underwear -- it started to rain. Perfect timing, right? I was on the road and driving before I realized it wasn't raining but hailing. Hailing! I think I even saw some snow flurries, but since I've only glimpsed snow a few times in my life (and gotten a good look at it... never), I can't be sure.

Oh, and there were also iciles hanging from the street lights and my side-view mirrors. Me: I'd take hurricanes over weather like this any day. Sara: Don't say that! Me: Well, I would!

Today is Chinese New Year, kicking off the Year of the Rabbit. Hop to it, Rebecca! And while you're at it, take this occasion to reread Watership Down.

rebecca_in_blue: (subtle sigh)

Yesterday started out as an amazing day. I went to my first Torah study at the temple, which was very enjoyable and educational. I have met some amazing people at the temple, and I'm touched by how far they've gone to make me feel welcome there. Afterwards, I burned a CD for Mom that she'd wanted, then I went for a long, wonderful bike ride (and collected cans; I need the money). It was warm and sunny out, perfect bike riding weather. But yesterday night at work was not pleasant, so the day started out awesome and ended badly. I'm still looking for a new job. A cold front arrived over night, and all day today has been freezing cold, windy and rainy. Looking out the window this afternoon, I honestly could not believe that I went bike riding just yesterday in short sleeves and sunglasses. The hell!

My favorite song of the moment is Firework, by Katy Perry. If you haven't heard it already, go to YouTube and listen to it. Its lyrics are an inspiring, powerful message about accepting and believing in yourself. It's also the first song I added to my iPod in 2011. Speaking of which:

About halfway through 2010, I started keeping a list of songs I had added to my iPod that year. Shortly after midnight on New Year's Eve, I went through the list recorded the playcount for each song. I know I have no life, but it was a fun thing to do. So, here's the musical recount for 2010. The second list is old songs I added to my iPod, and the first list is new music. I was rather impressed with how many songs there were for that list, because I usually don't listen to new music. Rebecca is not a hip person. But no doubt you already knew that, didn't you?



Most-Played New Songs of 2010. And the winner is: "With you, I'd run through a storm in my best dress, fearless." )

And...

Most-Played New (to my iPod) Songs of 2010. And the winner is: "Brighter than the noonday sun, and all your sheep awaking." )
rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)
I gave Sable a bath today, and needless to say, he was not happy during, but afterwards, he was as energetic as I'd seen him in years. When I took him on a walk, he actually ran a little! Maybe I managed to temporarily wash all the old age off him.

I went for a very long bike ride today, and the weather was so bizarre. The sky was completely overcast (tried to rain, but never really did) and I know this sounds crazy, but it was almost cold out. Cold! After months of it being hot and humid as all get-out! I throw up my hands at this!

Things I saw/found on my bike ride:

  • A black cat asleep in a yard of purple flowers.
  • The words "Expect Blessings" written in chalk on a sidewalk.
  • A huge group of people holding some sort of party/barbeque (probably a birthday party; there were lots of balloons) all over their front porch and yard.
  • And... a dollar bill on the ground! I was so excited, because this is the second time in the past two weeks or so that I've found a dollar on the ground while bike riding. I did the exact same thing today that I did last time, which was bike to the gas station, buy a six-pack of Oreos, bike to Mom's house, and eat them with whole milk and peanut-butter. I can make a meal out of that.
Me and Sara yesterday, in the pouring rain... 
Sara: Why are you wearing your sunglasses when it's obviously not sunny?
Me: Maybe I'm keeping the rain out of my eyes!
rebecca_in_blue: (trembling hand)
I went to sleep around two in the morning on Friday, only to wake up at eight with another asthma attack. It wasn't very bad, but my wheezing was so loud that it almost sounded like a siren going off in my ears. I had a sample of something called a “twisthaler” (rather than an inhaler) but it was not effective at all, so I finally hauled butt out of bed and got my prescriptions filled. What a money suck.


Tomorrow will kick off the real madness of Back-to-School. I know all the pandemonium before now will pale in comparison, but I've been dreading it for so long, it will be great to finally have it over with. Maybe it won't even be as bad I think. I have to work some long shifts this week, but we'll get pizza at least one day, and I've stocked up on chicken sandwiches to eat on my lunch. Those things are so cheap and delicious, I almost started doing a happy dance when I saw them in the supermarket.


I closed yesterday, and when my co-workers and I left, almost everyone of us moaned as we stepped outside, it was that hot. It was like walking into an oven. Today, though, was surprisingly cool and breezy in comparison, and I went for a nice long bike ride. (I keep running into my old high school math teacher, Mr. Vincent, who constantly power-walks the neighborhood.) A nice little hurricane or tropical storm would really hit the spot.


Please pray for Rebecca's sanity this week!

rebecca_in_blue: (subtle sigh)
The first hurricane of the 2010 season, Alex, has appeared in the Gulf. Bad news for the people of Mexico (where it's currently expected to make landfall) and even worse news for us if it makes the oil spill spread further and faster. Which it probably will. So in the meantime, I'm enjoying all the fresh, cool wind and rain that it's sending our way. It rained for most of today and yesterday, but not so hard that I couldn't go bike riding in it. It felt so nice. I like to think that somewhere in Jamaica and Mexico, Nakesha and Mariana are enjoying some cooler weather, too.

Re: the oil spill, by the way, our street has been flooded by storm surges before, because it's a former drainage canal that connects to a lake that's part of a river that flows into the Gulf. So my worst-case scenario is a river of oil rising right outside my bedroom window!

Sable's skin is bad enough as is, but it always gets worse during the summer, so yesterday I finally gave him an overdue, much-needed bath. He was awful. He's never liked baths, but usually he just suffers through them silently, with Gibbs-like stoicism. ("Stoic? You think my house is stoic?" Oh dear, how does everything I talk about end up back at NCIS?) This time he whined like I was killing him! I've never bathed a squirming baby, but now I think I have some idea what it's like.

In other, geekier news, I've begun writing fanfiction (to quote Craig Ferguson again, "Don't dare laugh at that! How dare you laugh at that!"), which is very strange and not something I've ever really done before. While I am glad to finally have those creative juices flowing again in some way, the bad news is that inspiration only comes late at night when I should be in bed. The past two nights, I stayed up until about two in the morning, and both times I had to be up at eight. Although the second time was more Sable's fault for wrestling with the comforter.

I'm off for the 4th of July this weekend! I'm still debating how I should spend the day, and whether I should make some dessert for the occassion.
rebecca_in_blue: (pursed lips)
I managed to get to the cemetery on Memorial Day, and the Avenue of Flags was a sight to behold. (Lucky for everyone that the thunderstorm didn't come till later that evening.) Picture as many American flags as you've ever seen in one place, then imagine even more. It was hot and bright -- and I'd lost my sunglasses; just broke down yesterday and bought a new pair * -- but I walked around and took some horribly out-of-focus pictures that did absolutely no justice to the scene.

Then I headed to my mom's house for some barbeque. I still had my digital camera that I'd taken to the cemetery with me, so I decided to use their computer to upload some photos to Find a Grave and discovered that their tower has an SD reader built into it. It was the coolest thing! Hm, it just occurred to me that maybe I could use their computer to format my SD cards, since my camera has apparently lost that function. Damn, then I'd be in hog heaven. Geek heaven?

I was off for Memorial Day, which was sweet, but the downside is that I'll have worked only four days both this week and last week ('cause I called in sick last Friday). My next paycheck is going to be teeny-tiny. But at least I'll be working more hours next week, after Tracey goes on her maternity leave.

For all the distant rainclouds and rumblings of thunder lately, we've had very little actual rain. Today it was sunny when I left the apartment and sunny when I got to work, with a rainstorm inbetween (which, according to my manager, hadn't touched our strip mall at all). Talk about your scattered showers.

* Things I will never like: Riding my bike without sunglasses. It has to be very cloudy or dark for me to bike without my sunglasses on. I don't know why, but I hate the idea that other people can tell where I'm looking. My sunglasses make me feel protected, shielded. I'd rather bike in shorts than bike without them. Well, maybe.

rebecca_in_blue: (raised eyebrows)

I love it when I actually manage to do things besides watch NCIS on my weekends off. On Friday night, I went to the Cancer Relay for Life with Grandma and Aunt Carla. I ran some laps, bought some food (there was a ton of different stuff for sale), bumped into an old friend from high school, and had fun. The only bad part was when they played "Amazing Grace," of all things, during the candlelight ceremony. That song is such manipulative overkill when played at events like that, and it wasn't even a good version. The one on my iPod is much better, but then, that's probably the best cover of the song ever.

A nice thunderstorm started around 2 a.m. on Saturday morning, just as I was going to bed, and I was so excited that I pried my window open to watch the rain fall. (I'm pretty sure this was the last time we had any rain.) It kept up for most of the day, but there was still enough dry time for me to go bike riding and pick more blackberries. I accidentally rode into the bush and cut my foot.

On Saturday, I watched Nine with Sara. She watched it for Daniel Day-Lewis; I watched it for Marion Cotillard. That woman is incredible, and her voice is just as beautiful as she is. She did two amazing musical numbers that I kept rewinding and watching over and over again and eventually added to my iPod. (One of them, "My Husaband Makes Movies," has already been played fifteen times, according to my iTunes library. Her other song is titled "Take It All." I'll take anything you have to give me, Marion!) It's unbelievable how much raw power she can put into her voice while singing in her second language without a hint of an accent.

Today I went to the library, went shopping, puttered around, and did some writing. Had lunch at Cici's by myself, which I hate -- when I worked at Mr. Gatti's (God, it's crazy how long ago that feels now; I'm so damn old) the people who ate buffets always seemed very pathetic and sad to me -- but I had the worst craving and couldn't find anyone to go with me.

rebecca_in_blue: (happy smile)

I was suffering a terrible NCIS drought for the last three days. USA didn't show any episodes all weekend, and I missed the ones that came on yesterday because I was stuck at work. There was one tonight that started at seven, and since I didn't get off until seven, I ran across the parking lot and drove home as quickly and dangerously as possible (which, for me, is not at all quick or dangerous, certainly not compared to my mom or NCIS's Ziva) to miss as little as possible.

Speaking of droughts, it rained yesterday for the first time in so long that I was tempted to run outside and dance in it! (And I probably would have, but I was at work.) Unfortunately it was brief, and when I drove home, I saw that it the rain hadn't touched my end of town at all. This after it was cloudy all day on Sunday, but all we got were a few worthless little drops, the kind the people in the Dust Bowl got when they prayed for rain.

I've been thinking lately about Sable's weird habit of rolling around on his blankets. I don't know if he does it when no one's around, but when I am around, he usually does it just after I've come home from work, fed him, or walked him. I used to think he was wrestling with the blankets, but now I think it might be his form of celebration, like that happy dance Snoopy does. When he does it outside on the grass, I suspect it's way of worshipping his one true god, the sun.


 

rebecca_in_blue: (bemused shrug)
I had another dream involving child actresses last night. (See also the one about Liz Taylor and the one about Anna Paquin & Victoire Thivisol.) In it, I'd just bought a DVD of this movie starring a really young Dakota Fanning (like, I Am Sam-era young), a Matilda-era Mara Wilson, and a modern-day Natalie Portman, who I think was playing Mara's mom. I can't remember anything about the actual movie, except that I really loved it and was so excited to have a copy.

Adam and I drove out to Iowa yesterday for the Rabbit Festival. I enjoyed the atmosphere and looking around at the booths, but I mostly just went for the carnival food. I love carnival food! (Carnival rides make me sick now, which makes me feel about as old as Grandma!) With the incredibly strong smells of boiled crawfish -- which, like coffee, I love the smell but not the taste of -- and onion rings bombarding my nose from every direction, it was really hard to limit my choices to nachos, funnel cakes, and fried oreos. Adam had a sno-cone and cotton candy. Would you believe he's curious as to what raw onions taste like, but wouldn't try a bite of delicious funnel cake? We also visited Celeste & Co. while there and met their dog Bo, who is so sweet that he reminded me of Dug from Up. Within a few minutes of meeting me, he was throwing himself in my lap and gazing up at me adoringly. The most amazing thing is that I could pull myself away from NCIS and leave the house at all that day.

The weather was nice enough while we were out yesterday, but last night was almost scary. It didn't rain much, but the wind was strong that I thought I was back in Villers-Cotterets. It practically shook the apartment building at some points, and I could hear it whooshing up and down the streets like it was alive. And angry.

Today I did my laundry at Grandma's, flipped through her TV Guide, and made a list of every NCIS episode coming on from Monday to Thursday. I put it up on our refrigerator, although I considered taping it to the corner of the TV screen. I'm so excited: tomorrow is "Judgment Day," the one where Jenny dies!!! I've been looking for that episode on YouTube since for weeks, but I've only found parts of it, so I never got the whole story on how she died. As much as I liked her and didn't want her to die, this is going to be awesome.

Tomorrow, it's back to the salt mines. There has been a lot of drama at work lately because one of my managers claims she's being disrespected. I think she's just taking her anger over her skunk-striped dye job out on us. Sara has said I'm "the definition of passive-aggressive" -- which is something I've seriously been trying to change -- but I'm nothing compared to some of my co-workers. They're having worse problems with Skunkhair than I am, because they tend to cry in the corner, roll their eyes, make sarcastic comments under their breath, and/or bitch to me when she pisses them off. I am working at honestly telling her when she pisses me off, and why.

I've also been trying to figure out how I got to be so passive-agressive in the first place. It sounds so whiny for anyone to still blame their problems on their mom when they're an adult, but I do think my mom's part of it. She's not a cruel person, but when she gets mad, she can say and do incredibly hurtful things. I don't remember ever trying to talk to her about this -- or about anything -- because it was always a given to me that she wouldn't apologize, wouldn't admit she'd done anything wrong, wouldn't change. I remembered recently that when I was a little kid, if I was doing I shouldn't, if someone said to me, even in a perfectly nice way, "Please don't do that," I would feel devastated and think they were angry with me. Is that normal? But then, is anyone? Think I'll go watch Matilda now.
rebecca_in_blue: (happy smile)
Last night Sara and I watched Now, Voyager, this Bette Davis movie I checked out from the library. I was pissed at Sable when I had to pause it halfway-through to take him for a walk -- he always seems to need to be walked at the most inopportune times -- but as soon as I stepped outside, I didn't mind so much. My mind boggled that I could possibly be seeing snow (!) in Louisiana (!!) in March (!!!), and I'm still not sure that's what it was, but it was drifting to the ground in such a lazy, back-and-forth motion that I'm sure it wasn't plain old rain. It was so fine that I could barely feel it, and I could only see it when I looked at the super-bright light over the back of our apartment building. It was damn hypnotic, and beautiful. I should be grateful to Sable for that. Sometimes I worry that we petty humans will eventually get so caught up in our screens, appliances, possessions, etc. that we'll completely lose touch with the world around us, and each other. (And I guess I'm more guilty of this than anybody, since I'm the one whose life is being taken over by a TV show.)

The message that I took from Now, Voyager is that there are as many different ways to be happy as there are people in this world. Most people in the movie assumed that the only way for Charlotte to be happy was for her to marry well; even Jerry seemed to think this. But in the end, that wasn't what she needed to be happy at all. The other message, of course, is that Bette Davis is Just. Too. Much. (Her words, by the way.)

Today I deep-cleaned my room so thoroughly that I suspect Sable didn't know where he was when he woke up. I actually got into the zone and enjoyed it, even though kicking up all those clouds of dust made me wheeze. I also went over to Grandma's house and hung up her bird-feeder for her: "I'm old, so it's safer for me if you do it." Yesterday I actually heard myself using the word "ta-tie," which I can't spell and is some sort of Cajun word for boogey-man. Sara was freaked because it's strictly an old-Cajun-people word.

rebecca_in_blue: (dozing off)

I really love the iPod speaker system I bought with part of my Christmas money. You get room-filling sound from your iPod, and I listen to it in the mornings and it really helps me wake up. Although it didn't help today because I overslept! And the arctic cold front arrived today, right on schedule, and it was so bitter that I was actually glad I was stuck at work all day and not out in it. The temperature dropped over twenty degrees, and fast. I know because my customers talked about it non-stop. "It's so cold out there!" "Stay warm!" etc. We are keeping our apartment nice and cozy, because if it's even a tiny bit drafty in here, Sable will start shivering and look even more pathetic than usual, if that's possible. It's funny to think now that we named him Sable because he was so black when we first got him. If we gave him a name based on what he looks like now, he'd probably be Patches, Wrinkles, Lumpy, Limpy, or Faded Gray. But he's still my puppy to me.

rebecca_in_blue: (trembling hand)
The other night, Rebecca came as close as she's ever been to cooking a real dinner. By which I mean that I bought a box of scalloped potatoes and a can of chicken meat, mixed it all together in a dish, and threw it in the oven for twenty minutes. It was pretty tasty, and while I was putting it all together, Sara started organizing her LJ tags and I went on about the fun and joy of organizing things. I realized later how fitting it was when I said, "I don't think this chicken is evenly distributed through the potatoes."

But now onto the big news: It SNOWED last night! Frickin' snowed! I worked a close, and the store was pretty dead, as you can imagine -- I think I had a grand total of five customers after seven, not counting Moe and Tracey, who kept coming up to buy slim jims -- so we all kept running outside to look at it. It actually kept up for most of the evening, and the flakes were falling thick and fast at some points. It rained all day yesterday, so it was too wet for it to stick, but just watching it fall was so pretty and cool. But damn, has it been absolutely frigid since then. Today the sun came out (finally!), so it wasn't that bad, but earlier this evening, I went out to walk Sable with no shoes (just flip-flops) and my feet felt practically frozen when I came back in. Sara and I spent the night flipping between three good movies (Dirty Dancing, The Incredibles, and Wayne's World). She still has a nagging cough.

Sara and I went shopping at Target yesterday morning, and I'm now almost all done with my Christmas shopping. The only people I have to buy for are Mom (still have no idea what to get her) and Ben. Oh, and I'm going to get something for Sable too, of course.

rebecca_in_blue: (patient)
It was sunny and warm when I left for work today, but about an hour before I got off, the clouds started rolling in. By the time I got off, the sky was pitch-black and the rain was coming down in sheets. I had to make a mad dash to my truck, and wind was making the rain fall at such a slant that my left side got soaked, while my right side, freakishly, remained almost perfectly dry. For some reason, it reminded me of the song "Little Wonders," by Rob Thomas:

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulders
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain

This was a very random, pointless post. Sorry.

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rebecca_in_blue

March 2013

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