rebecca_in_blue: (subtle sigh)
Can anybody guess what Rebecca woke up to this morning? A strange tapping sound at my window. For a second, I thought that someone was trying to break in. Then I got up, pulled back the curtain, and saw this:

That's Miss Tovah sitting on my bay window, staring down a little bird on the windowsill outside. I'm guessing that the bird couldn't see Tovah, or maybe just wasn't scared of her. They stayed like this for the longest time! Right now, though, it's pouring down rain -- again! -- and Tovah is in my lap. And now, a recap of the past few days:

On Friday, I was so sick that I had to call in to work (something I almost never do). I woke up very early that morning with a stomachache, so I took so Pepto-Bismal, only to barf it up. A few hours later, I tried some crackers, but I barfed those up, too. A few hours later, I tried some food that I actually kept down. Then I decided to bike to temple on a near-empty stomach. I didn't feel faint at all, just so tired that I almost fell asleep during services and while bike-riding home. Ugh!

On Saturday afternoon, I visited the mall with the girl I was matched with through Big Brothers Big Sisters. We just walked, talked, and browsed around in all the stores. We've only just met, so things are still kinda awkward between us, but I think "Briana" (not her real name) is starting to come out of her shell, and I hope for good things. We made plans to go to the skating rink this week, and we're both looking forward to it.

On Saturday evening, I did my laundry and watched a child actress movie at Mom's house. The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane was the only child-actress movie available through NetFlix Instant that I hadn't already seen. It left me wondering what people smoked in the 70's.

Today, I hope to get some cleaning done. I'll be working a lot this week (ugh!) but next week is my vacation! I leave for summer camp one week from today! I'm kinda nervous because I've never been there before, but I know several people who have and they all say great things about it.

rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)

I woke up in the early a.m. this morning with a terrible stomachache. It was the worst I'd had in a long time. Pepto-Bismal and a hot bath didn't help, and I didn't get to sleep for a few hours, until I finally made myself throw up, something I hate to do. Sara was still awake, and she snarkily told me I'd better wash out the bowl I'd thrown up in, because she wasn't going to. (I hope I can remember to be just as bitchy the next time she's sick.) I was so tired when I woke up this morning.

Anyway, onto some more about our trip to Little Rock:

The Rosemont and James Taylor )

A cold front rolled in with the rain last night, and today was almost as cold as winter! (Which translates to, Rebecca had to wear a light jacket.) I throw up my hands at this!

Only one hour to go until the Tony origins episode of NCIS (Baltimore)! Can you smell the excitement?

Later: Updated to add my notes on the new episode, which run long because honestly, I could not find one thing to dislike about this episode. Michael Weatherly knocked it out of the park!

Lots of gushing and squeeing on 8x22 "Baltimore" )
rebecca_in_blue: (excited grin)

Guess where Rebecca was this morning? She was eating breakfast with the most beautiful French-speaking Belgian family! It was one of the highlights of our little trip to Natchitoches. We left yesterday afternoon - the highlight of the drive was that Rebecca got carsick and puked! - and that evening we walked along the river and saw all the Christmas lights. Then we walked to a cemetery down the street from our bed-and-breakfast. Even in the pitch-blackness (it probably wasn't even seven, but already as dark as midnight, and very cold) I could tell that it was a really lovely, well-maintained cemetery. There was a dirt path with lampposts, and even the old section of it wasn't overgrown. I had never been in a cemetery at night before, but it was kinda cool. The funeral scene in Steel Magnolias was filmed there.

Warning: Lots of cheesy, chick-flick sappiness in this scene:

This morning we walked through a beautiful Catholic basilica and browsed in a really neat vintage toy store that had a slinky dog just like the one in Toy Story. Sara made fun of me for wanting to eat pizza from a gas station. I made fun of her for being scared of a really ugly painting of a baby that hung in our room. And we both made fun of old people for wanting to go back to Mayberry with Andy Griffith. 

rebecca_in_blue: (subtle sigh)

On Thursday night, I finally got around to doing laundry and slightly rearranging our living room. I got rid of the printer that we almost never used and the end table that served no purpose. (I'm planning to put a little table and chair in its place.) Also baked brownies, because Sara'd been nagging me to, but didn't eat any; went to Chick-a-Fil for dinner, which I rarely do because it's pretty far from our apartment; and watched The Goonies on TV. It's so weird watching that movie on TV, not only because they edit the hell out of it -- the penis-on-the-statue scene is gone, of course -- but also because it's very weird for me to watch it without the commentary track. I fell asleep to that countless nights in France.

On Friday morning, I woke up around six to stomach cramps so bad that I almost passed out on the bathroom floor. Sara told me later that I looked as pathetic as Sable. My Chick-a-Fil dinner made its reappearance soon after, and what disturbed me the most was that it had turned a very ugly, sleet gray color during its stay in my stomach. I've been through more than my share of barfing, but I'm pretty sure it's never been gray before. I called in sick to work and spent the rest of the day sleeping and moaning. That afternoon I roused myself enough to drive in a painkiller-induced haze to Office Depot and Goodwill, where I found a copy of the "Poems & Rhymes" volume of Childcraft that's almost identical to the one we used to have! I read this book constantly as a kid and have been missing it for so long. Sara and I spent the evening reading poetry, which was awesome. I love shouting out, "Or does it explode?" and "Invictus!" "You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din" is also fun to say.

Adam's birthday was today, and we spent it with the Mormons. He had a cookie cake with Cotton on it, and I gave him a hollow book that he actually seemed to like. I ate their food, swung on their swing, and played with their puppy, but had to leave suddenly when they all ganged up on me and tried to hug me.

I'm planning to go to the cemetery (and possibly to Mom's house) on Memorial Day and can't wait. The local chapter of Sons of the American Revolution will be putting up an Avenue of Flags!

rebecca_in_blue: (trembling hand)

I barfed in the bathroom at work today. You can imagine how unpleasant that was. I was scheduled to work until 7, but Laidback Manager said I could early, so I staggered out the door at 1. I felt so monumentally awful, I'm surprised that I even lasted that long. I only hung in there because I can't stand the thought that my co-workers might say, after I leave, "Oh, Rebecca just didn't want to work a long shift," etc. I don't think anyone would say that, because I have good work ethic, but I'm paranoid.

Getting home from work was another hassle. It rained hard all morning, and every street I drove was flooded. At one point I honestly thought that water was splashing into the cab.

More bad news: Adam and I saw Where the Wild Things Are last night. (That's two movies in the theater in one week, since Sara and I saw Paranormal Activity a few days ago. I haven't done that in years. Literally, years.) I can't understand how that movie has gotten such good reviews. I couldn't even tell you what it was about now, because it was that boring and slow and disjointed. Only about half the scenes had dialogue, and the other half was just the kid and the wild things running around or playing some game. About thirty minutes in, I started kicking myself and saying, "We could've seen Zombieland instead! Why didn't we see Zombieland?" Abigail Breslin almost looks like a badass on the poster. I'm both impressed and amused that she could pull that look off.

As for some good news, I'm seriously thinking about doing NaNoWriMo this year. Click here for an explanation if you're not familiar with it. I meant to do it last year but chickened out. There's about another week until it starts, so I've been making lots of notes. I don't know how well it'll turn out, but getting ready for it is geekily exciting.

rebecca_in_blue: (subtle)

I had a terrible stomachache almost all evening yesterday. I think it might have been some pre-packaged pork meat that I had at Grandma's house, because I started feeling nauseous within five minutes of eating it. It got so bad that I had to make myself throw up sometime in the a.m. of this morning. But I did feel a lot better afterwards.

Things at work might be coming to a head regarding the only manager (the only one out of six) that I really hate. Yesterday a girl who works in her department told me that she and another co-worker are considering quitting, because the manager is just that much of a bitch. Said manager also made a bitchy comment to me yesterday morning -- which is not news, because she says rude things to me (and other workers too, although she really seems to hate me especially) -- but this time I fired one right back at her. She has not tried to give me any of her crap since, but it's probably just a matter of time.

I'm off tomorrow! I really need to clean my room, organize my various piles of crap, give Sable a bath, and vaccuum, so let's hope I'll be able to get all those things done. Maybe watch a good movie too. I borrowed The Philadelphia Story from Grandma. Grandma: "Isn't it about gay people?" I think incredulously, OMG, an old movie about gay people? With Cary Grant in it? Really? No way and start reading the back cover before I realize (duh!), "Oh, no, you're thinking of Philadelphia, Grandma." And Mom is supposed to be taking Sara and me out to dinner tomorrow tonight, but we'll see if that actually happens.

rebecca_in_blue: (dishevelled hair)
I haven't barfed or gotten a serious stomachache in so long that I'd forgotten how bad they can really be. Until this morning. I ate some Lay's potato chips yesterday, yes, but I really don't think I ate enough to merit that. I usually try to watch how many of those things I eat, for precisely this reason.

I finished Catching Fire last week. Forget about biting my nails. That ending was so intense that it had me chewing on my fingers. Sara and I are making a file of useful information, hidden clues, character lists, and things to keep track of for the third and last book. We're also trying to make a map of Panem, but since neither of us know too much about American geography, it's tough. Suzanne Collins has put so much forethought into the story that she must have created a map; if only she'd release it. But she probably doesn't want us to know where District 13 is.

The weather has been so cool and pleasant lately. I think I'll log off right now to go for a bike ride. Or go lie in bed. That damn stomachache woke me up so early this morning.
rebecca_in_blue: (dropped jaw)

Last night, after yet another episode of Rebecca barfing:
Me: But at least I'm not having diarrhea anymore.
Sara: Oh, yeah? Says who?
Me: My ass and the cork I shoved up it.
Sara: That cork was Hitler in a past life.
Me: What?
Sara: I said that cork was Hitler in a past life. Like, it did something so bad in its last life that it was reborn as a cork shoved up your ass.

rebecca_in_blue: (Default)

Right now I have another window open on the computer, where I'm typing up my list of stomachaches. I try to keep track of when I have stomachaches, whether I vomit and how much, what foods I ate, how bad it was, etc. The paper list has gotten too long for its sheet, so I'm putting it into WordPad. I had to add another entry last night. Yeah, remember that delicious dinner home-cooked by my grandma? It all went straight down the drain in the early hours of this morning. I have no idea when; all I remember is that it was barely light outside and I couldn't get the water in the bath hot enough to make the pain go away. (Hot baths are about the only thing good at relieving my stomachaches.)

My theory, for what it's worth, is that my stomach has lost the ability to send messages to my brain to tell me when I'm full. Take that dinner yesterday, for example. I never did get that nice, comfy feeling of fullness that you always get after you eat a big meal; I was waiting for it, and it never came. It's like instead of my brain telling me, stop, you're full while I'm eating, I get big ripping cramps (and more often than not, diarrhea and/or vomiting) later on. 

Things I will never like: Talking to my mom on the phone. It's the same everytime. She always asks questions while I give single-syllable answers, and the pauses are long and painful. She always yawns through her words, which I find rude, and at least once she always says, "Well, I don't really have too much to say..." Then why did she call? Sometimes she tries to make me feel guilty when I don't talk enough for her ("Well, I feel like I'm keeping you from something"). She better not be surprised when I don't answer the phone.

rebecca_in_blue: (red riding hood)

Well, my barf-free streak came to end last Tuesday night, after I ate spaghetti at Grandma's. It wasn't as bad as it usually is, but I was still disappointed in myself. But I did last for almost a month there, and I'm determined to make my next barf-free period even longer.

Sara was offered a transfer to Baton Rouge, so we went there on Friday to scope things out. We got to revisit all our old campus haunts, which was both cool and weird. I can't describe it, but it's weird revisiting a place that used to be so familiar to you. (It's like when I see pictures of French street signs, or other things that I used to see every day in France. It hurts.) Campus was as lovely as ever, except for the construction that they're still doing on the Union! (They started it in 2006!) The Quad and Allen brought back nice memories; Middleton was closed, which sucked because I had so wanted to go back there. But revisiting my old place of employment in the Union, one of the worst jobs I've ever had, made me feel like I was having a panic attack.

The real kicker, of course, was the French Department. It was a Friday evening, so everything was empty, but man, looking at those dark, empty classrooms -- again, I can't describe it -- but just looking at them and thinking about all the days and weeks of my life I spent in them, and how little use it all was when I was actually in France. It was a good thing my old professors weren't there, because I probably would've started screaming at them, "Why did you make me discuss Balzac and translate medieval French?! Why didn't you teach me something I actually needed to know?! Et pourqoui, et pourquoi!"

Our old neighborhood had hardly changed at all. That was weird too, that life goes on as normal (in Baton Rouge, in Villers-Cotterets, etc.) even when for you, they've become a thing of the past. I got a pepperoni-mozarella-feta calzone for dinner, Sara got nachos and fried pickles, and we ate them on a picnic bench on the lakeshore.

This post has been very nostalgic and heavy, so I'll end with a link to the coolest YouTube video ever. A literal music video of "Total Eclipse of the Heart". If you haven't seen this yet, I envy you. I saw it for the first time last night, and I had to keep pausing the video because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

rebecca_in_blue: (worried eyes)

So the trip to Houston didn't happen. Somehow, I am more disappointed by this than expected. It's my own fault for actually believing that we would go.

I slept for so long yesterday, probably for over twelve hours. I don't even remember yesterday much. I don't know what made me so tired, but I think it might have been the nausea pills. After I threw up the first two times (this was in the early a.m. of yesterday morning), Sara gave me a nausea pill and a popsicle, because my throat burned like a bitch. Ten minutes later, I barfed up the popsicle and took another pill. Then I paced the room until my action ran down. Then I stood and thought until my thought ran down.

Spring is seeping away, and I'm not too sorry. It's a very wheezy season for me. The only thing I'm going to miss is the jasmine. It's my favorite flower, and for a few weeks we had lots of it in our neighborhood, smelling divine, but now it's wilting and turning brown around the edges. The same thing is happening to the ligustrum bushes, which makes me very happy because I can start wheezing if I get within a few feet of ligustrum blossoms. Sara now thinks she knows more about my allergies than I do, and she's been telling me I should take claritin, or some different kind of allergy pill. The other day she said this in front of Mom, who bought me a supply of claritin, and now she's nagging me to take it every time I see her.

And you know what's really crazy? I'm still tired.

rebecca_in_blue: (stiff shoulders)

I hate Mother's Day. I hate having to split it between my mom and Grandma. I hate the phony excuses Mom makes about why she won't see Grandma. Yesterday it was because Grandma was cooking red meat, and Mom doesn't eat red meat. Right, so if Grandma had cooked chicken, you would've gone over? Don't make me laugh.

I ended up getting Mom office supplies for Mother's Day. Sara and I ate lunch at her house yesterday before we went to work, and I had dinner at Grandma's after I got off. Then I stayed up all night barfing. Sara says I shouldn't go to Houston if I still feel bad. We were supposed to leave at 2 today, but Mom just called and pushed it back till 4. I won't be surprised if she pushed it back even further, or cancelled it altogether. What a pointless trip. We won't have time to do anything.

I'm the midst of some very aggravating computer problems right now. Between that and the barfing, I don't know which sucks more.

rebecca_in_blue: (worried eyes)

I called in sick to work today, for only the second time since I got this job. (Boss Man had better not give me any grief about it tomorrow.) I'm getting seriously worried about my stomach. Both last night and last Thursday night, I was up very late with terrible stomachaches. And they weren't of the dull, bloated, you-ate-too-much variety. They were more like the sharp, intense, you're-about-to-die kind. And noisy. My body was making sounds that freaked me out. Last night's episode was also accompanied vomiting, and both nights I fell alseep on the bathroom floor. This can't go on much longer. I can't be one of those people like Mom who gets stomachaches regularly and just lives with them.

I went all day yesterday without getting on the computer once! It might sound pathetic, but it's a big deal for me. I recently read in The Week about this poll conducted among teenagers and college students where the vast majority of them said that they would rather lose their significant other than live without the internet. The reasoning was that you could always find a new boyfriend or girlfriend, but life without the internet is unimaginable. For some reason, that really bothered me. I felt so disgusted with all the kids who'd taken that poll, but I'm just as addicted to the web as they are. (On that subject, one of my biggest worries has always been that the characteristics I hate in others are the ones I possess more than anybody. Maybe I do worry too much.) I've had a goal for a long time to go one day a week without the computer, but up until yesterday, I could never follow through on it. I will be so crazy-proud of myself if I can keep it going.

rebecca_in_blue: (Default)

Any guesses as to where Rebecca was at midnight last night? She was bent double in a parking lot, trying not to throw up. Yesterday I made the mistake of drinking too much soda (my manager offered a free soda to anyone who sold a protection plan, and almost everyone did) and eating three meals, instead of my usual two. And it didn't help that one of those meals was nothing but chips, cheese, and salsa, which is my newest addiction.

It started on New Year's Eve, when I went to my visit my aunt's house. She had chips and salsa out on her counter, and I started eating some, more to have something to do than because I was hungry. Then I discovered that they were actually really good. So I bought some chips, cheese, and salsa for myself with my foodstamps, and I've been snacking on them almost every day since then. I always tell myself that I'm just going to have a few, and then I end up eating until I'm no longer hungry for a real meal.

Last night it all caught up with me. I must have thrown up three or four times. Then I finally crawled into bed, so weak and shaky and exhausted that I forgot to take my contacts out. I'd never fallen asleep with them in before, and it was terrible. All day today my eyes have been dry and stinging and very sensitive to light. It isn't so bad when I'm inside, but when I went out to drive to work, the bright light made my sight start swimming. And I was still stupid enough to try to drive! I only got a few blocks before I pulled over and let Sara drive.

I finally got a Christmas present from Adam yesterday, Anno's Britain. I've read it once, as much as you can read a book with no words, but I didn't recognize as much as I thought I would in this one. I really love the Anno books. If only he had made an Anno's France, then he would really be too perfect.

rebecca_in_blue: (raised eyebrows)

Another day off, and it's still cold and wet. What pisses me off is that the last two days were dry and hot, almost as hot as summer. (And this after it snowed last week! The hell!) I had hoped that it would keep up a little longer so I could ride my bike today, but no.

Sara got two cookie cakes for her birthday, one from me and one from Mom. She and Adam got into town late Friday night. She offered to take me out to lunch today, so I might call her soon. I'm determined to finally get my Christmas shopping done this evening, after Sara gets home from work.

I've thrown up several times in the past few weeks, twice on Black Saturday (I remember because I had to call in sick to work that day) and three times around 3 a.m. last Sunday. I think I need to stop eating three meals a day. I usually eat only two, but I've been eating three lately, and I'm sure that's what's ripping my stomach up.

rebecca_in_blue: (Hayley)
Yesterday I woke up early and went to go get my haircut. I'm far from totally pleased with it, because she made the bangs much shorter than I would've liked, but it is a big step up from Haircut O'Death I got back in September and from the unwashed, uncivilized look I got from not cutting the back the entire time I was in France. I'd post pictures, but I can't borrow Sarah's photo card adapter anymore. Afterwards I went out and bought two the foods I craved most while in France, Cheetos and Kroger-brand pickles. I've already had one jar of Kroger pickles since I got back, but I couldn't resisted another one. I think I was about 8 the first time I ate an entire jar in one sitting. Cheetos and I don't go that far back, but during my last semester at LSU, I had a poetry class in Coates Hall near a vending machine that was always stocked with Cheetos, and thus I could almost never walk past it without buying a bag.

Sara was off yesterday, so we visited the Mortimers, whom I haven't seen since I got back. I showed them a lot of pictures I took in France, and we talked about the students in Eva's class and whether people who have sex in public bathrooms lock one stall or the entire bathroom and a lot of other topics that I have no idea how we got around to. I want to go back soon and swing on their swingset; I didn't yesterday because my asthma has still been so bad. Grandma said she asked Uncle John to put me a swingset of my own up in the backyard, but apparently she doesn't know that I try to pretend that yard doesn't exist. I'm giving Grandma the candle I got in the Notre-Dame in Paris for Mother's Day tomorrow. I still don't know what to get Mom.

Anyway, after that Sara and I went out to dinner at Outback. It was pretty disappointing because they've taken my favorite item, the only reason I go to that resteraunt, off their menu (buffalo chicken strips and blue cheese sauce). We ended sharing chicken wings an appetizer and I ordered a boring burger, since I didn't know what else to get. On the way home I realized I'd forgotten my asthma inhaler at the Mortimers' and had to go back to their house to get it. En route Sara and I started talking about what songs we have on our iPods that we're ashamed of, which was a bad idea because I started laughing so hard I got a terrible asthma attack and had to think about the Holocaust to make myself stop laughing.

Fast forward to 4 am this morning, when I woke up feeling show-stoppingly sick. My stomach hurt, my head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, and my entire body was so hot it felt like I was on fire. I barely managed to make it to the bathroom before I projectile-vomited my entire Outback dinner in the sink, in the toilet, on the wall, on the rug, on the floor, and on myself. Adam was still awake, so I made him help me clean it up. I don't know what went wrong, because it was a big dinner, but I didn't have a stomachache or feel painfully full afterwards, and I've felt fine all day today. I seem to vaguely remember Ben telling me that Outback's food sucks this morning before I went back to bed.

Tonight I'm hoping to make Adam and Sara watch The Goonies with the commentary track on. I've been meaning to do that since I got back.
rebecca_in_blue: (trembling hand)

What Rebecca did yesterday, for reasons that remain unknown (warning: grossness ahead)...

  • Ate one meal, breakfast, around 7:30 am.
  •  Took a shower in the middle of the day (which I never do, and you wouldn't either, if students and teachers were walking by outside the door).
  • Tried to get to the school nurse's office while dizzy, nauseous, and wearing no glasses or contacts. Walked into a wall. In front of students.
  • Banged on the walls between my room and Sarah's and Heather's rooms, in an unsuccessful call for help. Sarah wasn't in her room at the time and Heather just wondered what the hell I was doing. But boy did they feel bad later. I guilt-tripped them for all it was worth.
  • Prayed for death, also unsuccessful.
  • Gripped my sink so hard I almost pulled it loose from the wall.
  • Threw up three separate times around 3:30 pm. It was yesterday's breakfast and lunch from the day before, and it was very easy to identify.
  • Learned the French word for to vomit.

Edit: I forgot to mention that today, April 23, is SHIRLEY TEMPLE'S 80th BITRHDAY! Yes, her 80th! And this entry's title is an almost verbatim line from me to Marlene last December, when she couldn't believe that I walked to the grocery store in the rain just to buy a goat cheese pizza. "Well, what am I supposed to do, Marlene? Not eat goat cheese pizza?" When Nathalie came to see me while I was sick yesterday, she said, "Don't eat any goat cheese pizzas for a while. I mean it."

rebecca_in_blue: (Default)

I’m constantly asking Sara to watch one of my Shirley Temple movies with me, but last night she actually did (Captain January). I like to think that I wore her down, but I know she only agreed because we couldn’t find the DVD player to watch Finding Neverland instead.


The summer is well under way now. I’m listening to Center Stage on NPR every Sunday, and Mom is saying, “It’s so bloody hot!” at least once every ten minutes. She couldn’t believe it when I told her that I ride my bike to campus and back almost every day. I know it sounds weird, but I’ve come to look at my bike rides as purifying experiences, a little like saunas, which are also very hot. I imagine myself pushing my body to its limits in the heat and all my problems and worries leaking out of me through my sweat. I always feel cleaner and purer after riding my bike, even though I’m actually dirtier and sweatier.


But I may have gotten more heat than I bargained for last Friday at the fireworks stand. I finally found a temporary job (with no help from the temporary job agency) selling fireworks for the 4th of July. Three hours of organizing fireworks, firecrackers, and rockets – yes, there is a difference between the three – under a tent in a gravel lot ended with me leaving early, staggering to my truck, and vomiting in my trash can as soon as I got home. My boss tells me that I can’t work there anymore if the heat affects me that badly, but I eventually found out that it was a stomach virus, not the heat, that was making me sick.


I bought another box of cream pops at the supermarket a few weeks ago, because they’re the perfect way to cool off after a long bike ride, but judging from my dental appointment last week, I probably need to stay away from cream pops for a while.


rebecca_in_blue: (Default)

March 2013



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